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Patrick D.

August 1998

Happiness

I've noticed that a lot of Oasis writers (including myself) can't seem to find anything happy to write about. Maybe we just wallow in depression so much that we forget that there is happiness out there somewhere. When I say "out there", I mean far, far away from the cyber world. I've come to find out that so many people have been wrapped up with "life" online for so long, that they forget how to interact with the rest of the known world. We create such phony realities for ourselves online, that we soon forget how to interact with people in real life.

I know many people from online. I recently ran into someone that I had known and liked for a long time online. I thought that he would be the most wonderful person in the world when I met him for real. Then horrible things happened. Maybe I should have gotten a clue when he literally told me that he was a bitch. I informed him that he was being way too hard on himself. Well, I was soon to be proven wrong. He really was a bitch. As soon as he professed that he needed to be completely controlling in the relationship (he actually told me that) and that he was unhappy that I wouldn't just let him tell me what to do, I told him that he had to understand that a healthy relationship is a 50-50 thing. It's a matter of both give and take. He wasn't very happy with that at all. I guess he figured that just because he was young, very attractive, and fairly good in bed (and a fellow Oasis writer) that he could just do whatever the hell he wanted. He even went as far as stating that he wouldn't see or sleep with anyone but me while we were dating, but if he found a guy that he wanted to have sex with suddenly, he would quickly break up with me first, so as "not to hurt my feelings". This way, he technically wouldn't be cheating on me. Am I the only one here that sees severe problems with this line of thinking? The sad thing is that he has guys lined up for miles online who want to be with him because he has a hot body. I guess they will learn the hard way just as I did that looks can be very deceiving, indeed.

So, anyway... it's people like this that make it difficult to write about happy things. But there must be something happy out there worth writing about. Otherwise, the teen suicide rate would be even higher than it already is (and it's pretty damned high right now). Hmm... what makes me happy? A hot bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich makes me happy... writing music does, too. Finally getting to read that novel I've been trying to get to for months makes me happy. Lying down on a grassy hill on a warm day under a shade tree by a lake with my eyes closed with a gentle breeze stirring through the air makes me happy. Sitting in a deep couch at a coffeehouse with cool jazz in the background while playing a game of Bullshit or Spades with people I've just met on the vintage '60s coffee table... or riding around in a car going nowhere in particular with my best friend for hours on end with the windows rolled down... or playing sand volleyball with people that are just as bad as me makes me happy, too.

And I suppose finding a guy that liked those things and more would make me happy, too. Sure beats a controlling bitch any day.


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