August 1998

The Perfect Disguise

I am gay -- I've known that since I was 11 -- but nobody knows. Anyone whose ever come up to me and said "You're gay!" is closer to the truth than they realize. For now, my personality is my main protection. After all, not too many people would suspect a smart, witty (by the way, I'm immodest) and all around somewhat normal kid to be gay. Especially since currently I'm running the lie that I have a girlfriend.

Almost everyone sees me as the smart and nice kid. But let me tell you, it is definitely not easy to pull this off. It requires you to lie to everyone you love and trust and to not show that it hurts to do that. That's why I will eventually come out to a girl, that I know, that is really soft-spoken. She has a boyfriend and I think she won't care if I'm gay or not because we're just really trusting friends.

The Reason I Wrote This

I don't think I wrote as to so much of the fact that I needed to, but that I wanted to. To tell someone who knows and understands gays and that isn't going to be insane that I am gay. I wrote this to let the others my age to know that there are many people like you and they have the same feelings as many of you. Since it's the 13th of July I figure that if Oasis likes this column that I'll see it in the August issue, otherwise I'll just keep writing. If this article makes it then thank you and don't worry -- everything will be calm and it will get better.

If there is a next column for me, I'll tell you more about what's happened to me throughout the years of deciding. But for now all I can say is write to you next issue.

Good-bye and good luck to all of you.


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