September 1998

Avedea3 remembers when going back to school was a huge deal, hating more people, worrying about the classes you might have thought were cool last year might be different now, and so on.. As I start college and aim for my major, I wish I could go and speak to younger persons about diversity, not just glbt issues, but on a much wider genre.

As for me, I have a plan for the future, and plan towards it, and hoping all my saved up good karma helps me... I mainly think about fucked up relationships that happened in high school, and how I wish they would have worked out. I had a dream the other night that I met the man of my dreams. <we both thought we were made for each other > He wasn't worried that I don't know when I get my next dollar, or that I have non-normal hair, or like Ricki Lake, and other talk shows. And I thought I loved him, with the longer than normal hair, brown with some happenin' highlights.

I'm not going into deep details on what happened, as I know your thinking I'm some weird freak letting every one know what I dream, but I think we can all learn, but its not over yet, OK? Then we meet up later on some day, after I called a few times, and found out he slept his way around in a ::few:: beds, some I wish I could have been in, and some I would rather not think about. But the thing was a little boy, looking for a support system that I don't have... and I was getting fucked over again, as he thought nothing wrong of it. But I do. I have a higher moral system for some people... there was some more to it, here and there, but I think you need not know, and if you ::must:: know, mail me. I don't bite often.

<the mail and bytes >I haven't thought much about the dream, but I think it might have something to do that the last "relationship" I was in, was rather odd. A boy was courting me, while he was still attached to his girlfriend, she was in college classes with me, and leeched on to me, to boost her scariness points, and I wanted her boyfriend so bad it WAS funny. But I have that stupid moral thing again. I wouldn't do anything with him until they were broken up, and I didn't want to be the cause. But the mess gets better, the boy's mom liked me more than her. He told his parents he wanted to be with me, his mom wanted me to do her hair, and I still wouldn't do more than give him a ::hug::

As before, more happened, that I'm omitting. So, after the dream, I wonder if Avedea3 is headed in the same direction as before. Will Avedea3 ever get a life, and stop dreaming about Mr. Right? Will he ever find him? Well, "toon" in next time at the same station for the same stupid ramblings to find out!


avedea3 is attending an arts high school in the horrid state of Minnesota ::still:: trying to get his diploma, is also in college, has a major that he is striving for, and loves to get mail about topics such as this, or on the basis of what color your lovely dreaded extensions are. Drop him a line, but if your gonna be coy about it, don't bother, coy is a waste of time<no bad karma intended> kris@wavetech.net

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