September 1998

Geesh, has time past, I haven't written for a while at all. Well, junior year is just about to start and I guess I'm a bit nervous, but mainly I'll be just glad to get done with high school. I've heard college can be a blast if you get involved with the right things. I am now 16 and am driving around town a bunch.

Well, I met a guy who wrote me off Oasis who lives like two hours away. It might not have been the smartest thing to do, but, we chatted a bunch off of mirc and then we talked a bit on the phone, and it seemed pretty safe. Meeting was actually quite a bit of fun. We talked a bit, and meeting a gay kid was cool. I have a great gay friend in town which I talk to some, and I'm starting to associate myself a bit more with him, but that's another thing. I had to have this kid park in a parking lot in my town because we have these really nosy neighbors who have in the past taken photos of our house if they suspect something, so a parked car wouldn't have been the smartest thing.

So, I went and picked him up and brought him home. I introduced him to my sister, and then we went downstairs and sort of spent the whole day talking. This was definitely a positive experience meeting someone. I questioned the safety, but it turned out all right. I am actually scared to ever come out to my dad.

I had to go on a fishing trip with my dad...and we eventually came on the topic of gays, since there is a gay man living in town, and my dad has an occasional viewing of him. My dad stated his opinion to me and said, "Any man who turns his back on the basics of family and goes with his instincts is going against society. Any man can have sex with another man as easily as a woman, so why do they?" He has the opinion that being gay should be ignored and just live a lie with a woman, which I really don't want to do.

That didn't do much to help my self-esteem, but I'm doing pretty good. I have just learned about this gay couple who lives practically a normal life except that they are two men living together, and they both are pretty down-to-earth, and that sort of gave me a place to start from. That is what I want to do with my life. I would like to live as close as a family atmosphere as I can. I don't know if those are the right terms to use, but they are close. Anyway, thanks for reading.

Write if you like at trainvn23@hotmail.com


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