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Japer

October 1998

Hey People! Happy Halloween! Sorry about last month's absence, had school registration, and once again I'm at college again, second year... 16 credits. got computer programming, commercial Spanish, computer logistics, geography & precalculus (and I am kind of slow in mathematics.. well not really just numerically lazy, hehe) Anyway, I'm planning to do my third year in an exchange at the University of Washington (Seattle) so let's see what develops. On the love side, well I'm not looking for anything. I close the doors of love for now. I need time for myself, but if something appears well welcome it is then. But for my part I'm not looking (oh look at the gap khakis swing cuties) hehehe.

This month's topic is something that many of us don't really know when we come out to people. OK I need you guys to think over every idea I give here...

Ask yourself... If you haven't come out to anyone or just a spare few:

1. Have my friendships with close friends or other relationships changed since I decided/accepted I was gay? Yes/No

2. Do I feel strange when I'm around people I used to feel comfortable with? Yes/No

You may feel that people somehow with no apparent reason have changed their attitudes toward you when they don't still know anything. Believe it or not, we think.. OK now I'm gay... but we don't realize that we change our attitudes and many other things without really noticing. That's what happens that make our relationships with others change.

It has happened to me when I started coming out and to others who have come out or are in the process. For example.. It happened to me when suddenly I didn't have anything to talk about to my best friend, because at the time (12th grade) I didn't want to tell him that I was gay. So.. I didn't have anything to tell him because the major events in my life were all gay-related. And my friendship changed drastically with him, just to set an example.

Sometimes we don't say because we have the obvious fears like rejection, mass-gossiping etc., etc., but if you really feel secure and confident, it doesn't matter what they say about you (like my case) I always went on. (hehehe right now I am dancing in my room half naked music from Gloria Estefan hehehe jussssst hold me in your arms and kiss me! hold me!! touuuch me, don't let this moment end, oh please, I know tonight's the night, You never felt so right! just hold me in your arms and kiss meeeee!)

OK, end of the music break, hehehe. Back to reality, well guys and gals.. think this over... If you think your friendship with the people around you, instead of blaming them think it over and put all the pieces together and try to think who has really changed. I remember the days back at my Senior year of H.S. when I started coming out to people and my "affected" friendships came back to normal and they even improved! Results vary. Remember always to think it over twice before opening your mouth. Because not everyone keeps it to themselves and they just tell it to another person and the gossip chain starts. Spare yourself from that, I came out in my School to 6-7 friends by May my teachers knew and asked me, and they all supported me. So technically, I was the first out Student in my H.S. which is Catholic. Well until next month! Any questions comments or just anything contact me in ICQ 1397210 or my email japer@writeme.com

Japer


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