October 1998

Hi gays and gals, this is my debut column for Oasis. I have a lot of things to write about, but I narrowed it down to two subjects. So my regular readers to be will know a little bit about me and my sexuality, here is my bio:

I was born on October 6, 1985 at 7:02 PM. I'm right now preparing for my 13th birthday. Some of my friends wanted me to have a boy-girl party but in respect of my sexuality I'm not. My early life was pretty uneventful. When I was two my cousin was born, when I was three, my grandfather died, when I was six another cousin was born, when I was seven, yet another cousin was born, my grandmother died last year from a stroke, and a year later (yup, you guessed it) another cousin was born. My cousins in order of birth are named Andrew, Christian, Marshall, and Will. I'm slightly attracted to Andrew. I think he is one of the reasons that I'm gay.

Some people say that queers are born queer. But I don't think I was. The reason for this is I was attracted to girls until recently. Since I'm not attracted to the opposite sex anymore at all is why I ruled out the possibility of my bisexuality. I have had my share of girlfriends. In pre-school there was a girl named Kristen and we were girlfriend-boyfriend. Then in kindergarten came another Kristen who, in fact was my neighbor. We were at the kissing stage in our relationship when she moved to Texas (by the way, I live in Connecticut). Then in first grade I liked a girl named Layla. I wouldn't give these early romances much credit, though. The big one's next. In 2nd grade on-up I had a SERIOUS crush on a girl named Beth. We were best friends in first grade, but then I got serious. When you're young it is customary when a boy likes a girl to pretend he hates her and vice-versa. So I lost that friendship. We both went to different middle schools for 5th grade, but I still had a serious crush.

Then, about a year ago, I was totally turned off by girls and I got a crush on my best friend. This really scared me. I went home and grabbed a Victoria's Secret. I flipped through the whole thing, but my dick was not even starting to become erect. I then totally freaked. I tried to suppress the gay images from my brain, but it was no use. I couldn't help thinking sexual thoughts about the boys in my school. I dreamt about gay sex every night and woke up with a warm sticky liquid all over my crotch (I was later to learn this is semen). This went on for about three months and then they stopped. I was really happy. Back to Victoria's Secret. hehehe. I thought I was straight again, but I was wrong. My insane sexual thoughts did tone down a bit, but it was clear: I was gay. I am now at the stage of acceptance. I actually enjoy being gay. I couldn't imagine being straight, and I try to avoid conversations about what boys like what girls.

Now I'd like to talk about the things I think made me gay. When I was young, nudity was not a problem. Me and my cousin, Andrew would run around naked, take baths together, make jokes about dicks and other juvenile things. I think this contributed greatly to my homosexuality, but I could have been born with it also. I'm not sure. If anyone has any theories, feel free to e-mail me at magicman401@yahoo.com

Now I will skip to my second subject, how gays are treated in today's society. They are discriminated against, but that's not what I'd like to focus on. In my school, and probably in others, homosexuality is not taken seriously. The prime example is straight guys acting gay. It really pisses me off. There is this one kid who sits next to me in science, he acts gay all the time to me. I don't mind him doing it to me, I play along. BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE! I find it very insulting. They don't even know how gays act! They don't go around declaring to every male around that they want sex! Another thing that pisses me off is how gay is used as an insult. AN INSULT! How would some straight guy feel if he was alone in a school with all gay guys and the common insult is YOU'RE STRAIGHT! A prime example is today at lunch. My friend, Rob was getting up to argue with my friend, Brian and in the process bending over my other friend, Aaron. Well, Aaron said, "Aah Rob's Gay! He's Humping Me!" That really made me mad. I also don't like the way psychologists are treating us. They say they have nothing against gays. Well if they have nothing against gays, then why are they trying to "cure" us back to heterosexuality? Why can't they just leave us alone. We're happy (at least I am). Please E-mail me at magicman401@yahoo.com. I love hearing from other queer adolescents. You know, someone who's going through the same problems as me. See ya' next month.

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