October 1998

Hola. Je m'appele Sonja. I'm now OFFICIALLY 17 (my birthday was September 4th) and OFFICIALLY into my senior year. I never felt older than I did before going into any other year at school, but I do this year. I suppose it goes with being a senior. That and college applications. Anyway, that's not what my article is about.

If you read my last article you will know that I'm bi, and I was facing the issue of telling my girlfriend, Kara (name has been changed). Well, I got up the nerve, and I told her. It was as hard to tell her that I'm bi as it was to tell some of the straight guys I've dated. Kara took it a bit personally at first, but now she's adjusted to the idea. Just one change in our relationship.

Another change came this past weekend when Kara was visiting me. For the first time in the four or five months that we've been dating, we kissed. I know it sounds like it was much prolonged, but you have to realize we live an hour and a half apart and we were both away for most of the summer.

So I had my first girl-girl kiss. And much to my surprise, it was actually different from kissing boys. I can't explain how, it just IS. I like it better, but that's probably just me. Having kissed a girl, especially Kara, is very significant to me at this point. It shows that not only are Kara and I definitely more than friends, but that I truly am attracted to girls.

There was never a doubt in my mind, but when I would come out to some of my friends as bi they would ask me how I knew I was attracted to girls if I had never kissed one. I just knew, but there's no way to explain it. Now I don't feel like I have to.

I apologize if this article has shown a tendency toward rambling, but I was just defeated in a battle of wits between myself and my physics homework.


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