My Name Is Matthew

By Mish

And if I live to hear the answer
I have just one question
Why did you beat me
and leave me to die?

I was a child like you.
A little boy once playing in the mud
making neat noises with my toys
singing and swinging at the park.

I grew up to be a teen.
Struggling with my self image
body and thoughts
searching and belonging with friends
juggling between family and school
and social life too.

I am now a young man.
An eager student like many
seeking education and knowledge
honoring my growth
wishing to contribute much.

But aside from all this
I am first one of you
a part of this world.
I hurt and I feel
I laugh and I cry
I desire and need tenderness
want to hold and be held.
I have a heart for love
and a heart that bleeds just like you.

Oh, deep underneath
I know your answer well -

Because I am gay.

But still, I ask you again
for you make no sense.
Why did you beat me
and leave me to die?