I was just being happy wandering around the net talking on the phone and such (arranging my birthday party). I was bored I went to excite.com and saw at the top "Gay Student Laid to Rest", that got me curious so I clicked. That's what ruined my day. After I read it I felt bad, really bad, I don't feel to well right now. That feeling is fear. For a few weeks now I've been contemplating whether to "come out" or not, I'm 16 last Sunday, I received support from several internet friends but the only other gay male that I know at school doesn't talk much. After this I think it best to wait until either A) the world is kinder or B) I move to a large city where gays are more prevalent. I know that one day I will have to confront friends and family about by preference. Jokes, derogatory statements and stories I hear everyday in school diminish my hopes of ever finding understanding with the people I spend my day with. But yesterday several classmates were discussing gays, they led a decent discussion but were wholly indifferent. I believe that this crime is a Hate-crime it has effected the community as a whole and will prolong the "closetness" of many. I don't pretend to not have motives for writing this, it has made me feel better. Thank you for listening and if anyone else reads this I hope you understand.

-- Thomas, 16