November 1998

Hello people, this is my first column so please excuse me if I make a mess of it. My name is Jess, I am thirteen, a lesbian, a bookworm, in love with my best friend, very much NOT part of the cool group, Australian (and before you make any assumptions I don't call people mate and my parents don't drink lots of beer and gamble) and I have a problem.

Recently a girl called Mandy moved from China to our school, she doesn't speak English very well and she has became a good friend. Unfortunately, as she doesn't speak English very well, I can't use my normal method to decide if I tell her I'm a lesbian. (for you who want to know I mention that apparently someone is gay, usually a movie star, and listen to their response).

To make matters worse, a male friend of hers has a crush on me and she keeps asking why I won't go out with him. Then yesterday, when I decided to tell her, using her Chinese/English dictionary, she was picked up from school by her uncle and I didn't get a chance. And it was a Friday so I have wait until Monday. I'm trying to keep very busy.

Now, for you who are thinking, "Hah! Just wait 'til you tell your parents," I HAVE told my parents. My mum's bi so that was a breeze. All I have to put up with is jokes about my Xena addiction. To tell my friends, I just wrote I Love Lobster all over my books and told them it meant Xena. They were really cool about it and I knew they wouldn't suddenly hate me. Pretty naive I realize now, but luckily I was right. I seem to lead a charmed life.

Reading this it seems a mess, but I guess I'll get better. Either that or stick to writing poems, I recently won a state competition for a poem about Australia. The competition was run by an Italian organization and I was given my prize by the Italian ambassador. If you think I'm boasting, I'm not (well maybe a little bit) I'm scared shitless. I have to read it in Italian and I'll probable mispronounce something. If anyone wants to write to me, my E-mail address is Kelpdragon@yahoo.com and if you do, I will be absolutely over the moon and will definitely reply.

Next month, I'll tell you the result of telling Mandy (unless you've a vow never to read my column ever again)


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