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Scott

November 1998

This is the first time that I am writing for Oasis, and I have to say that I am a bit nervous. To introduce myself, my name is Scott, and I live on the eastern coast of Florida. I am sixteen, and am currently a junior in High School. I'm not the most open person in the world, but I do have a handful of friends whom I have told.

I really don't know where to start. About 6 months ago, my two best friends (I'll call them Chris and Manuel) and I went to the Special Olympics to help volunteer through the Red Cross. Chris had emailed me earlier, and told me that he had something that he needed to tell me, of great importance, and that he would tell me on that day. We spent a good portion of the day there, and he hadn't brought anything up. I even sat next to him when he was by himself during lunch, hoping that he would take the opportunity to talk right then and there. But he didn't, and I soon began to think that maybe what he had to say wasn't such a big deal. The Special Olympics ended, we helped to clean up, and then decided to go see a movie (Manuel, Chris and I). We drove to the mall, and decided to buy tickets to "The Wedding Singer" (which I have to say was a VERY good movie!).

Before the movie started, I noticed that Chris was acting rather strange, and said very few words whenever Manuel and I would try to talk to him. We thought that he was just having a bad day, and really didn't think much of it. The movie finished up, and we got in the car. I was driving Chris home when he asked me to pull over (Manuel was still in the car, I should add). I pulled into a nearby parking lot, parked, and turned the car off. I knew that he was about to tell us what he had told me about. He was very nervous I could tell, and he prepared us for something big. He then confessed to us that he was gay. Needless to say that Manuel and I were extremely surprised, but weren't upset or anything in any way. It was a little uncomfortable the rest of the way to their houses, but I dropped the two off, and went home.

Then about a month later, I was over at my friend Manuel's house. We were alone, his parents were at work, and we were just talking a bit. I saw him tense up, and he expressed to me that he had something that he needed to tell me. I told him to go ahead, and that he could tell me anything. He then began to root through the kitchen cabinets (I really don't know why, I guess it was just his way of dealing with his nervousness), and blurted out that he was bisexual. A little less surprised than with Chris, I told him it wasn't a big deal, and that I was okay with it.

Well, I guess you all kind of guessed it. All three of us are in some way "gay" (or bisexual); it's just that I took the longest in "coming out." It took me about a month after Manuel, after I had made myself completely sick with nervousness. For some three weeks, I couldn't eat hardly anything, and always walked around with a burning stomach (I think I had given myself a slight ulcer). Anyway, Manuel came over one Friday during the summer (on our day off), and I had decided that I was going to tell him, no matter how hard it was. I sat there for about three hours, extremely nervous and was pretty obvious that something was wrong.

Finally he asked me if I had something I needed to tell him, and I finally confessed that I too was bisexual. It was the greatest sigh of relief in the entire world! I couldn't believe that I had done it, but I had, and it felt great! He obviously took it well, and we just talked for the entire day, some six hours straight. It was literally probably one of the best days of my life, and I was so glad that I told someone. I told Chris the same day, and even worked up the courage to tell a few of my other friends (and no, they weren't gay!).

Anyway, recently I searched myself, and made another discovery. I had used bisexuality as a "post-denial" (if this makes any sense), and that I was in fact, gay! I updated Chris and Manuel, who really weren't all that surprised, considering I had talked about guys a heck of a lot more than I talked about girls.

To conclude the story, I can't believe how great it was to tell my friends. Since then, I have become more self-accepting, and fell so confident that I have two great friends (if you're reading this, I love you both!) to stand behind me. I know that I can always count on them, and the three of us have grown about as close as any three friends can become.

If anyone would like someone to talk to, don't hesitate! I'm a great listener, and am very good at giving advice! My AOL screen name is FubarFL, and my Email Address is FubarFL@Aol.com. In your Email, please be sure to include "oasis" in the subject column, because I get a lot of junk mail!"


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