November 1998

Hi everyone! My name is Tim; I'm 14 and gay. I guess since this is my first article, I will describe myself and some of my life. Lets see here, I'm out to a lot of people. Basically, I'm out to my whole school, my choice. I'm also out to some family members: parents, brother, aunt, uncle, and a cousin. My life hasn't been easy, but also it hasn't been too hard either. I have not been really bothered at school, and my family is coming around to acceptance. I'm probably going to work to create an alliance at my school this year or next. I should point out that I'm a freshman (9th grade) in high school.

My Life

Where do I begin? I guess I'll start at the point where I first knew I was gay. I'm pretty sure it was 6th grade. That year, I wasn't sure of all my feelings, but I thought I was gay. That year I was very confused with other stuff also. My first feelings for a guy were in 7th grade. Like most people, I had a crush on a teacher. He was in his late 20s. I knew for sure that I was gay after I realized this!

Later in the year, I started to have a crush (still do) on this one kid. Too bad for me though because I think he's straight! Well anyway, that year I wanted to blurt out to everyone I was gay, I had no idea what I was thinking! I didn't, but then it started to eat at me. I guess, at first I thought no one would care! Then I came to my senses and decided not to come out!

In 8th grade, I was glad I didn't come out the year before! That year was the roughest for me! We got a few new kids from the other middle school in town, so our class was bigger! That year kids were very rude to one another! The term "fag", was used so much it really hurt, and who can't forget people using to the word "gay" to describe something in a negative way! Also, toward the end of the year, some assholes thought it would be funny to make a gay flag and put on the backs of some kids. No one did it to me, but it hurt to see it being used to make fun of people! That's a year I want to forget about! It was the worst year I can think of in my life, and probably will be the worst! I saw so much bigotry in 8th grade that I felt very alone!

On the other hand, 9th grade is different! Like I said before, I'm out to everyone! On some days I wear a pride necklace, but on a lot I don't. If anyone makes fun of me, it's usually other 9th graders (some from the same school as in 8th grade). As the world goes on, women love gay guys! I have so many new girl friends (not girlfriends, remember I'm gay) than I ever had! I don't care, except that I have more friends now! I did lose some friends, but that's okay because I gained a lot of new friends! I have never been in a fight period, whether or not because I'm gay! Also school wise, I'm doing great! Getting As and Bs! My life is a roller coaster though, at times I'm very depressed and others, I'm so happy! I have faced a lot so far this year, and I hope I can get through my life.

Matthew Shepard

By the time this is posted, everyone should have heard of Matt Shepard from Wyoming! Because this is an online magazine and free to all in the world, some of you may not have heard of him! Back in October, he was assaulted very brutally because he was gay. It put our country in a state of shock in a way. It had a bad effect on me! At that time I was getting more depressed, and it made it worse. Since I was totally out at school, I really felt nervous to go to school! Yes, I do know that it wouldn't probably happen to me at school, but you never know! I think the people who did it to him should get life in prison. Although, where they're being tried the death penalty is available, so they might get that. To me that would be an easy way out! Also at Matt's funeral, there's going to be a religious group outside protesting, that's sad! I heard that from some people, then I checked out their web site, and sure enough they are! (Please keep in mind that these articles are due by the 15th of every month, and by the time I send this in, the funeral wouldn't have taken place, so I'm not sure if it will take place, meaning a change in plans.)

Remember: Being * is cool! (*=Put in whatever you are e.g. gay, bi)



I love getting email, please email me at: toothytim@msn.com thank you so much!

Also please stop by my web page at: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Park/2563/index.html


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