December 1998

Summer is gone.

Well, last night, Bryan and me went over to Rochester to visit a couple of friends of mine. And on our way home, It started to snow... Man, I can't believe how fast summer has gone again. Just seems like Bryan and me just met a few weeks ago. And it has been 3 months now.

A couple of weeks ago. I was off from work and it was a rainy day out. I had all my housework done the day before, and so it was a day at the computer surfing the web. I happened to come across another ad. It was a membership ad area. I didn't plan on being a membership. But I checked into it to just see who's all there. There was a listing for my town. I went into that listing and seen there's a guy there from town a year older than I am. I thought. Cool, there's another one out there. I wondered if he was in my class, or a year before. I was not able to reply this guy's ad being that I was not a member. I was able to post an ad up for free. I hope that he would see it and reply to me. About a week later, I got an E-Mail from him. He said he's moved down here from up north 2 years ago. Bryan and me set up a chat on ICQ with him, gotten to know him more. Seems like a good guy, and plan on meeting up sometime this week.

A week later...

I was able to set up a time to meet with Nate. (not real name) Me and Nate met up at Watermen's for a burger. He was kinda shy at first, but he got over it really quick. We ordered our burger and just talked away. We left to go home about 10, We got out in the parking lot, started talking more. Keep on talking and talking. Seems like we talked about everything. I think we are hitting it off pretty well here. After a while, we were wondering what time it was, the parking lot was empty. So looked at the clock in the car here it was almost midnight!!!!!!! We are plan on getting together on Sunday.

High School Year.

Going away to a new school and being in a new setting was going to be a test for me. I was more worried about the shower room being around other guys nude. I didn't know if I could control myself or not! The next am at 6 a.m. the lights came on in our room. Ron the houseparent kicked the bed to wake us. I laid there saying "Oh god. Here comes the test.. Every guy in this unit may have a morning woody, can I brave it!? I got in to the shower room. It was somewhat dark. just light from the hall way lit up the area just enough to see your way around. I thought well, that helps. When I was in the shower, I was surprised that I was in control since other guys who are just coming in with one of those morning woody.

My first year there. I kept thing really low key on my end. I was a 7th grader, and I didn't know many of the guys there. I was able to share room with a guy who I thought was good looking. I tried to be friends with him. But he was the "Bully" type. As the weeks went on, he would pick on me. And would say "Jay is Gay. Jay is Gay... Your Gay Jay... " I was really getting pissed. I didn't know what to say or do. I know I didn't do anything to make him say that! ( at least I think I didn't) I had enough, I went to the school councilor about it. He told me the best thing to do is ignore him. I said it's easier said then done! He said well, I'll see what I can do. A few days later, he hung out at the dorm that night, He just happened to see him say it to me. I was like YES! I am saved! He went right up to him, and said would you like it Jay said that to you? He said No.. Then Jim said well!!! DON'T do it then! He stopped doing it.

When I was a 9th grader, there was this one guy who was in 7th grade. In a way he looked like me. The tall and slender build and stuff. He would call me "Brother." I would talk to him often in school or in the dorm. One weekend it was a quiet weekend. Lots of the students were home. I was down at Terry's room and we played cards and other games to help pass time. We started to wrestle around. It was fun. I was stronger than him and was able to pin him somewhat. For some odd reason, I got excited. ( I am sure you know what I mean). He happened to feel it. he said, Jay, are you hard?? I said NO! he said BS, you are! He said. Must admit, I am too. I didn't know what to say! I've never had a guy tell me that. Well, things lead from there..... We did stuff together for about 3 years. I would sneak to his room when his roommate was gone or he would come to mine when my roommate was gone. We've never gotten really serious about stuff. Just for pleasure.

After I graduated from school I asked myself, is he gay, bi., or what? We've never talked about that issue. I've heard rumors that him and his roommate did it together somewhat.

In my 11th grade year. it was close to prom, this one gal just broke up with her boyfriend. She asked if I would go to prom with her, I said sure why not? We did stuff together at night in the teen center like order pizza, watched movie. One night when it was time for the girls to go back to the dorm. She asked to go with her and help her put her coat on. She was facing me when I helped her put her coat on. She kissed me. It was a first kiss I gotten from a girl. I was cool about it. She started to get pretty deep into it. And started to French kiss. I didn't know what to do! I said to myself, I DON'T LIKE THIS! I held myself up for a bit... Then her tongue started really work it way in. I couldn't handle it any more!! I pulled away, and pushed her back.. I was "Sick" in a way. I knew right away in my mind I didn't like kissing a girl and I was for sure gay! She asked what's wrong?? I said I am sorry, this is not my thing. I don't feel right, and I'll have to call off our relationship and prom with you.

A few weeks later one of my class mate asked me if I would go with her, and I said sure.. So I did end up going to prom that year.

Well, That's all I got time for writing for this month, I do hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving! Christmas is not too far away! Do you have your wish list made yet?? I do have on made here for myself! Hope to have that special guy in my life soon. and I hope me and Nate will have a relationship.

Happy Holidays!


Feel free to check out my homepage at http://members.aol.com/jay1j/index.html and feel free to E Mail me at Jay1J@aol.com

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