Matthew B.

December 1998

Well, I haven't written to Oasis in two months, but since I have time off now I decided that I would write a column today. Well, it's November (my favorite month) and a lot of things have happen (my life is kind of like a soap opera all the good stuff happens in November and May). My now ex-boyfriend who I have been going out with for over a year is now no longer my boyfriend because I broke up with him. He finally sent me a picture after all this time and I just found out he was black. Never told me he was and not that I mind him being black, but I can't believe he kept that secret from me for so long. (If any black kids are reading this PLEASE DON'T TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS).

I don't know why, but I'm not attracted to black guys at all. Not that there aren't nice looking black guys at there, but personally I have never been attracted to any. I like black people a lot and my old best friend is black. I know if you loved someone so much that being black won't matter, but I guess I wasn't in love with him. I just think he lies about things and tells me something and then lies and says another thing I just can't take that and I realize I am happier not being in a relationship with him. Not that he's a bad guy or anything and I would still be his friend if he wants to, but he never in SEVEN MONTHS picked up the phone to call me (it was a long distance relationship) and I ALWAYS HAD TO CALL HIM. He always told me he would come see me, but never did. I just think he was lying to me about a lot of things. Not that I'm saying I'm perfect because I admit I lie. I lie, manipulate, scheme, I'm very vindictive and sarcastic, and certainly not an angel, but I never denied that I wasn't like that unlike him. I just couldn't take anymore of that relationship so, I ended it.

I guess I have been pretty mean to him when I emailed him and told him we couldn't see each other no more. I have been such an asshole to people lately that I realize I'm not going to take any sh-t from anyone anymore. I am nice to people and many people think I'm the sweetest kid at school, but I have a mean side. I call it my bitch side because if I were a girl I would be a bitch. I'm tough, manipulative, sarcastic, bitchy, vengeful, cruel, all the things that make a girl a bitch, but if you know the nice me I can be as sweet as pie because I like people and dislike a few, but hate no one except for murderers, rapists, gaybashers, and anything to do with evil.

I know a lot of people who read this will think how can I be so cruel or will misinterpret what I'm saying. I guess I was just ranting about anything.

I guess I will move on to another subject. In my last article I said that everyone has power and they can use it for either good or bad which is totally true. I personally have different sides to me so, I can be shy and quiet and very nice, but yet I can be strong and out spoken and if I truly believe in something I will speak my mind. I have a tendency to get carried away with things especially when I'm comfortable where I am because I will use my power to voice my opinions and I won't back down 'til I'm proven totally wrong or right. I myself don't let people push me around and use sarcasm and creative thinking to stand up against people. It's like when I feel strongly about an issue I can't shut up no matter how hard I try. It's just something I think everyone has and not be afraid to use.

Another quality that I have is that I am very, very, very loyal to my friends. I never diss my friends and if someone doesn't like them I don't let them talk about them while I'm around. I'm there for my friends and love them all. They all may not like one another, but when I'm around they don't talk about each other. I had a huge problem with my 2 best friends because my friend Melissa doesn't like my friend Jay and she told me if I hanged out with him I couldn't hang out with her at the same time. I was really heartbroken because I wish they could get along, but I don't like her other best friend so, I can see what she means. So, I told her I still want to be friends, but she has to respect that he is my friend too and if you don't like that then we can't be friends anymore and she doesn't say one word about Jay anymore. Well, I could write a lot more, but I think I'll say it for next month's. I hope everyone who reads this has a HAPPY HOLIDAYS and stays cool. I LOVE YOU ALL! KEEP SMILIN!

PS. If Justin you are reading this I still think you are a nice guy and I hope you find the right person for you.


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