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Rob

December 1998

Good day all. I have read many articles in the November issue that compelled me to write this little ditty for you all

First off, let me tell you a little about myself. I am 25 years old and live in the Southern US <What fun>. It is not easy to be Gay here in the stix. I am not totally out yet. Some friends and relatives know and that is about it.

I knew that I was gay around the age of about 11. Or at least knew that I had different thoughts about myself and others. I was so confused about it all. When I started realizing that I was "GAY", or more appropriately put a label on my feelings, I was really scared about my life in general. I had nowhere to turn so I did what, at the time, I thought was right and acted heterosexual. All that did was hurt me in the long run. I spent all my high school years and some of my college years worrying what others would say or think, and did not pay any attention to my own unhappiness.

Well, it was a lonely night in the dorm room and I was on IRC. I was in a gaychat channel for Mississippi, and I met a guy that struck my fancy so to speak. Well it was the day before I was to go down to pick him up and bring him to my town that I came out to my 2 best friends. Much to my surprise they were not shocked in the least. Heck they respected me and loved me more than ever. Me and that guy I was telling you about did not work out at all. I was upset and threw myself back into thinking....Hey I am Bi let's try our luck at a chick shall we. BIG FRICKIN MISTAKE!!!! I spent 2 years lonely, until I met MR Right.....and it has been bliss ever since...I am totally in love and I have since meeting him and establishing a relationship, come out to my mom, and select other family and friends...most everyone that is close to me now knows.

The point of that was for me to set this part of the article up for you all. To all the 13-17 year olds out there that have come out...My hat is off to you. You guys and girls have strength that I could only imagine having at that age. I was such a coward. You all have so much inner power that it astounds me. I want to say that this 25-year-old looks up to you all. You have been an inspiration to me. I can now look at myself and smile; I am honored to share a bond with you all. I respect you all so much you just do not know. I hope to hear from some of my new HEROES soon

Have a good one,

Rob
ILCBlade@webtv.net


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