December 1998

Hi. My name is Sam or Samantha or whatever you feel like calling me. I'm 16 years old and live in Vancouver, B.C. (Canada). This is my first time writing to Oasis. I am however helping to organize and run a B.C. queer youth zine which is really exciting. I guess that there are a few things I feel like spilling my guts about.

The first thing is my fear of becoming my school's poster child queer girl. I'm bi leaning towards gay. Basically I'm physically attracted to both but see myself growing old and wrinkled with some beautiful gal. I'm out to most of my family (except distant relatives) and to everyone I consider a true friend. About half of my grad class knows but there are no rumors spreading about me as of yet. Everyone who knows knows because I told them. I comfortable with my sexuality but I do not want to deal with all the bullshit that may be thrown at me. So far I've been extremely lucky nobody is homophobic or anything but I guess that I am scared of the unknown.

The next thing is that I have the most massive crush on this amazing gal I know from youth group. It is the kind of crush that refuses to leave my imaginative little mind. The moment I saw her I was speechless; but it is not some mere physical attraction. I do not work like that. We just instantly clicked. She would be telling a story to a group of people but staring directly into my eyes the entire time.

Anyway enough blabbing. You can email me at cruelangel@hotmail.com if you want to and I promise to write you back it just might take me a while.



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