January 1999

Christian, 16, is a high school junior in upstate New York.

Hello everyone! And thanks so much for coming back to read my article this month!

First of all, I'd really love to thank every one of you who replied back to my article last month. I can't tell you how good it feels to know that people read and can actually relate. Thank you and keep in touch everyone!

Next off, I guess I am going to warn you that this month's article is going to be a "Stream of Consciousness" because I don't have completely set path as to where I want to go with it this month, but I hope you enjoy.

OK, now here's the question of the day ... How do you all feel about destiny, fate and soul mates? Personally, I feel that they all exist and that you just need to let them take their course. I was reading a book once called In The Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant and talked about preparing yourself to meet the love of your life and to learn to love yourself. And one of the key points was that you can't meet your soul mate until they are ready to meet you. It talks about preparing yourself, and them preparing themselves for you to meet and fall in love. This could mean that you wouldn't meet your soul mate until your 107 or maybe, if your ready at 16, 18 or 20.

Well, the point of all that ... was to make a statement. People always tell me how hard LDR's (Long Distance Relationships) are and that they'll never ever work out unless you do this and that and this and that. Well, here am I (getting on my soapbox) to tell all of you that it IS possible for them to work out! I have met someone who is everything I have ever asked for in life in terms of love and is the prince I used to dream about when I was little. Sure, he might be kinda far away ... but when it comes to love, people can never be too close ... so what's the difference. I love him wholeheartedly and that is something 2 and a half months back I would be COMPLETELY against! I am a changed soul and have a changed heart from the man I am in love with. The past two months that I have been seeing him have been absolutely fabulous and by the time you all read this article. I'll have already spent the holidays with him!

I know this is a controversial topic for most people because of "What If ..." statements but ya know what ... this was just my 2 cents! (gets off the soapbox)

Next, I'll give ya all the update about last month's article, (which is available in the Oasis Magazine Archives of Past Issues)! I have an appointment on January 5th to be screened for meds for depression. I have gotten countless numbers of responses about why these are a bad route of action ... but I believe that if they'll help me get through this ... I'll rough out the psychological addiction aspect when I get there ... the whole "Cross that bridge when we get there" saying!

The actual situation isn't that much better ... makes you close yourself up from people because of what happened. Very few people get close to me now ... too scared I'll get hurt again! That part is getting easier though. Somehow ... the man I talked about as being the "love of my life" found his way through my walls of protection ... I don't even know how. That is why I believe we were destined to meet each other and fall in love ... I mean even with all my protection that was set up to defend myself from that ... he found a way through. (Are you all sick of my sentimental gushing?!?!)

Well, I guess that is enough blabber for a month, eh? I wish each and every one of you is reading this either a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or a Happy Ramadan

... hopefully with no violence in Iraq!

I love to get feedback and always write back to people who write me! If you'd like to drop me a line ... please contact me at Chrstian23@aol.com.

With Much Love and Friendship,


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