January 1999

Hi, my name is Douglas. My online friend Mike who writes a column said I should try writing one. So here it is. I thought this time I would tell a little about me.

I am in 7th grade at a middle school in Washington state. I am 13, in advanced classes, and get good grades. I play basketball and baseball, am 7th grade class president, and am pretty popular around school. But I have everybody fooled because I am gay. And I have to fool them all to be popular. And sometimes that makes life hard, and sometimes it makes life funny.

Because everybody thinks I am one person when I do things a little weird they just say, "Oh, there's Douglas being nasty again" instead of, "Hey, are you queer or something?" like happens to one kid I know in 7th grade. Life is hard for him because he isn't popular and acts gay like. We could both do the same thing, and with me it's Douglas being weird, and with him it's "What a dork."

I have a boyfriend, Scott. We've been friends since 2nd grade and been "boy" friends since 5th grade. I also have a friend, Rich, who is 16 who acts like a big brother to me. He has taught me a lot. I met him when I was 11 and he and Scott are the most special people in the world to me.

I wish I could really be me at school and everywhere. I am with some. Scott knows I'm gay of course because he is too. My friends Travis, Colin, Chris, and Linda know. Travis is probably gay too, and Colin is new at school at we are still trying to figure him out. Chris isn't gay, but is a best friend and it's cool with him. Linda helped beg me elected and it's nice to have a friend who is a girl and knows who you are and doesn't care. Then there are Doug and Darryl who are twins in the 6th grade. They are a special pair. But to everybody else I am Douglas, jock, brain, president, friendly straight boy who everybody seems to like. But I always wonder. If they knew, would they still like me? Do they like me, or who they think I am.

©1998-1999 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.