January 1999

Hi! Well another month has passed and we come up to another article. Honestly, I have been disappointed with my last couple articles, and I'm going to make this one great! Thank you everyone, who has written me, and for those of you who I have not replied to, I did read your mail! Well enough of this!

What being gay means to me

I have been thinking hard and long on what being gay is for quiet a long time and wish to share my thoughts. The word gay means to be happy and joyful, right? Then why are a lot of gay people sad and depressed? I have gone through a hell of a time this year and thought about killing myself. Of course you can see I never succeeded! Teen suicide is high, and even higher among gay teens! Our society is willing to let gay teens die, while they do everything in their power to let straight ones live. Think about it, from the beginning, most of you probably heard that homosexuality was wrong. Then you discover your gay, and then the feelings start to set in. I was lucky and was not taught being gay was wrong, but still the feelings still are there.

Now, I do know there are some teens, who don't go through this and that there are others who end up killing themselves because of it. Isn't it a shame that that has to be? Now straight kids can get more help because they aren't being judged about being who they are. And because they're not gay, they get more treatment. It hasn't been till the last few years, since we (queer youth) were able to get the help we need! So being gay means to have to go through some sort of depression? No, it doesn't!

Does being gay mean that we have to live in fear of being killed or badly injured? No it doesn't, we need to do something about that! I don't think a lot of you are familiar with the 1969 Stonewall riots, if you are, great! Anyway, these riots were in New York City and involved gay people. Basically it started when some cops came and raided a gay bar. Normally, people just went along with the raid, but this time the people stood up and started ganging up on the cops.

Basically, gay means loving the same sex just as straight people love the opposite sex. So what if we love a different gender! I can see myself growing old with a man I love. The only thing is, that the government would only recognize our relationship to the degree of just roommates. I would want to marry, but not under today's terms. To me marriage is showing your deep devotion for the person you love. I would love to do that some day, hopefully in my native country! I'm aware that other countries around the world already allow this, but the US doesn't! How many of you would marry the person you loved, if you could (this is only meant for gays, please no responses from straights or people with hetero feelings)? I can't wait till I get a boyfriend, which I hope is soon! More on that later, though! (Although, feel free to ask about it!)

Some Final Things

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt How many of you (in America) watch "That 70's Show"? Did any one catch it on Sunday December 6, 1998 (Saint Nick day)? They showed two guys kiss! That was really cool!

I would like to wish everyone a belated happy holidays, I hope they were good for you! To all my friends on PFLAG-TALK, Tim, and Flos, you guys are great! And one special friend, Marc!

Bye for now,


(I would love comments on this article, please!) toothytim@msn.com

I have totally redone my site, and I think it's pretty good! Here it is if you like: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Park/2563/index.html

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