January 1999

Jeff, I'm now 14. Not 13 anymore.


Hello once again all my loyal Oasis readers. Recently, I have been going through many changes: my music taste now includes Marilyn Manson, Offspring, Metallica, Everclear, Rob Zombie, Barenaked Ladies, Fastball, Jewel, Everlast, Hole, Green Day... none the less, a strange grouping.

It's not just that that's changed in me now. My whole attitude has changed. I've become more independent and distant from many people-may be just the adolescent thing though. I think that in many respects, I've even gone a little insane. Maybe insane is a strong word, but there is no way I can describe my feelings in words-but I'll try. I almost feel like it is an identity crisis- like I have two me's fighting over who will control the rest of my life. It is amazing and self-educational though.


Many of my quote, unquote aggravated thoughts are released when I do my writing- poems, stories, articles, whatever. Being in the closet is important to me, but it also is devastating FOR me. My poems, stories, and parts of articles have all gone dark now, it seems. But, then again, I always liked the dark. Here's one of my poems, so judge for yourself:


Lost in the Rain

You were staring at the forest ground
when the rainclouds formed all around.
Walking slowly at first,
'til the rain came in a sudden burst.
Starting to fell the rains cold,
suddenly you realize you're not very bold.
Trying to find shelter in vain,
you decide, you're lost in the rain.
The yellow sun that you once knew
has all the sudden turned very blue.
The heat that you sought
has now been caught.
Fumbling down the broken lane,
you're still, lost in the rain.
Curled up next to an oak's root,
you feel the water in you're boot.
Stinging your eyes, like little pins,
you think about your beloved kin.
Wind so strong you need a cane,
for sure, you're lost in the rain.
Using the very last of your might,
you can see a slight light.
A holler whistles through your ears,
and the windy rain stabs with it's spears.
With little to gain,
you're lost in the rain.
When your dad found you,
you truly knew
you were no longer lost.
You were found... but at what cost?
Thinking for a moment you'd gone insane,
you were still glad you weren't in the rain.
But then your father eased your pain
just by saying-"you're not lost in the rain."

This poem isn't copyrighted, but I would appreciate it if no one would load it for a website or claim it as their own. Thanks.

Closing Up...

I'm just going to finish this unfortunately short Oasis column with this quote- "To be dark is to be far and moody, to be far and moody is to have meaning, and to have meaning is to have your own life." -Tommy

Later my friends,


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