February 1999

Brian is a 20-year-old student in Ohio

I think today I did the most spontaneous thing I've done in a very long time. I asked a guy out on a date. Yes, me. Fireworks, loud noises. Granted, I knew he wasn't going to say no, 'cause I was getting the feeling that if I didn't ask pretty soon, *he* was going to ask.

How did it happen, you ask?

Well... as many would say, *nothing* is supposed to stop the newspaper from printing. Even a campus newspaper. Cincinnati (and the rest of the east coast) fell upon some inclement weather. The university closed at 4, but since I am the managing editor of UC's campus newspaper, I stayed with my editor in chief to crank the thing out. Well, as it turned out, after two hours of waiting for our printer to pick up the paper and take it to the presses, we were informed that they couldn't make it to campus. There was "black ice" all over the roads, and we wouldn't be printing a paper that night. And I was unable to drive the 40-minute commute home.

So I stayed at the office. (yes, the good part is coming soon).

I woke up this morning at 6:30. Upon hearing the school closings on the radio, I discovered the university was going to be closed until 10. Damn! So, not having a *thing* in the world to do, and being alone in the dark, in a deserted building on campus, I hooked into IRC.

After only a short time in the #gaycincinnati channel on EfNet, I had become involved in a good conversation with another student that goes to UC. I have no idea how long it lasted... but it ended with him logging off and giving me his phone number.

And, in a move that is *definitely* completely out my character, I called it.

We talked to each other until almost 10, when someone walked into the office. I told him I would call him back later in the afternoon. Decided to screw my classes and not go to work for the day, because I felt yucky from not having a shower and sleeping in my clothes, and because I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. So I went home, took a shower, had a bite to eat and took a little nap.

At 2:30 I called him back. Before I could get two words out, my little sister (one of them) came downstairs where I was (alone) and proceeded to make noise and bug me. I asked her to leave, and she went upstairs. I heard the door slam. I told the guy I couldn't talk for a *very* long time, because I had to do some work around the house. But before hanging up I asked if we could go out to dinner next week. We set a time and a day, and that's that!

So I was very happy. Then the clouds came.

I came upstairs, and snapped at my mom a little. I said it was going to be a problem if the kids could not let me ever have a private conversation with anyone. And she responded, after repeatedly asking which sister I was talking about, "So who did you ask out?" I told her... "None of your business!" and went upstairs.

Flash forward one hour... I was in the kitchen with my mother and the sister who had been downstairs bugging me. She (my sister) said, "So you are you going on a date with?" And I responded, "I'm not going on a date?!" And she repeated back exactly what I had said to this guy when I asked him. I was in shock... saying things to the effect of, "No, you did *not* eavesdrop on my conversation." She said she just pretended to go upstairs and shut the door... she really heard the whole thing. I was *so* not happy. Not only at that, but that my mother didn't tell me flat out.

I told her, "Mom, you wonder why I don't want to live here? How I can dare say that I can't live here? It's because I have no privacy in this house!" And where am I now? In my room. Typing this. Thinking about what I'm going to wear next week.

I will spare my impressions of "the guy," simply because I have links to Oasis on my web page, and I wouldn't want him knowing what I think of him before I tell him. But be aware that they are good thoughts... otherwise I wouldn't be calling him or seeing him again, right?

I'll update this more next month. I can't wait! Such a weird feeling... to be devastatingly worried & nervous, but yet ecstatically happy at the same time.


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