February 1999

Belated Happy New Year to you all.

I decided to take a vacation, which was my reason for not writing in January. Well, not a real vacation because that would be too good, but I can say full well that my mind was certainly not with me. So in those regards... let me begin.

Both December and January have been wild seasons of love for me. I was lucky enough to find a gal that gave me the key to her heart. At first I must admit that I was scared but I learned that in a good, healthy relationship, being scared is a normal feeling, and that when you talk about it - especially to the person you love, you feel a whole lot better.

These last two months have been a real time of growth for me, I'm learning what it really means to care about a person, to respect her, and to love her. I've also learned what its like to be treated like a princess, to be supported and to be comforted.

Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to be in a good relationship. I have a friend that after he broke up with his boyfriend went on a binge sex spree, which is very dangerous -- physically, mentally and emotionally. After talking to him, I realized I had to confront him to find out whether his sexual actions were accomplished in a safe manner. He confirmed the fact that he had used a condom which was somewhat comforting, but unfortunately I hadn't yet asked the difficult question, "Where you tested for AIDS?"

As scary as that thought is - and believe me I agonized over it for a good 24 hours before I could actually ask him - it was something I had to know if he was indeed going to continue in any facet of sexual behavior. Thankfully, his answer was yes and he made it clear to me that he knew he must be tested every three to six months - that is something I feel everyone should know.

On that same note...as I build a safe sex resource page for my home page, I thought I would include a little of what I had found. This is important stuff and should be taken VERY seriously.

From http://www.safersex.org/safer.sex/

"What is safer sex anyway? We use the word safer because all sex can have consequences -- from emotional consequences to diseases and pregnancy. If you decide to be sexually active, you owe it to yourself to learn about what behaviors are risky, and how much risk you want to take. "

There is a rather lengthy guide to Safe Sex which can answer just about any questions. It can be found at http://www.sexuality.org/safesex.html

Just say Yes (http://www.positive.org/cps/JustSayYes/contents.html)is one of the best resources I have found to date. It is also available in Spanish.

"Nobody has a body to die for. Safe sex is always better! It's fun, and you don't have to worry as much. "

"Safe sex means making sure you don't get anyone else's blood, semen, vaginal fluids, or breast milk in your body -- and protecting your partners too! Condoms, latex surgical gloves, and plastic wrap are the only way to protect yourself and your partner from STDs and HIV, but they're not foolproof. You've got to use them correctly every time you have sex."

This site also has detailed diagrams which show you how to correctly put on a condom, they have information on birth control and pregnancy, a glossary of sexual terms all of which is very easy to understand, honest and open.

Finally, The Coalition for Positive Sexuality, http://www.positive.org/cps/, is another good site that is there to teach you what you should know if you choose to become sexually active. This is an extension of "Just Say Yes" and has a forum for discussion, a place to e-mail questions, and other links to sites about being gay or lesbian and to other online and national resources.

I another site that is very comprehensive is http://www.allaboutsex.org but it is also rather hard to navigate.

With whatever choice you decide on making, I do hope that you will consult one of these resources first. For your safety and for your partners.

Wishing all a Happy Valentine's Day!


©1998-1999 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.