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Joshua

March 1999

this new and altogether unremarkable idolatry

every day in every way i am getting better and better
i am comfortable with who i am
i am a happy person
my smiles are beautiful

measure for measure
time and achilles heal all wounds
shortening the word "you" to just a letter
the adjective "abject" when used as an imperative

boys do not like me
boys do not like me because i do not want them to like me (so i have been told)
boys do not like me because i push them away
boys do not like me because i read james joyce

every day in every way i am getting better and better
i am comfortable with who i am
i am a happy person
my smiles are beautiful

prepare
a storm is coming
all those who can hear my voice (take shelter immediately)
there will be nothing left of cripple billy (come the morning sunlight)

fond but not in love
fond but not in love
fond but not in love
fond but not in love

never before something so amazing
truth is indeed stranger than fiction
you are still wearing his ring
is it any wonder?

straight boys do not quote oscar wilde
tomorrow more holes in the head
saturday
on saturday i shall carry a lily

frozen in winter
car will not start
sticker in back window of a college no one attends
vaginal blood in the snow on the side of the road (it is february in iowa)

welcome back students to your high school reunion
it has been thirteen long years
where are you now?
why have the two of you not fucked?

every day in every way i am getting better and better
i am comfortable with who i am
i am a happy person
my smiles are beautiful

trickle down economics (one hour and thirty minutes)
image of president and first lady
i feel it
i can feel it now

self-sufficient
able to perform tasks without encouragement
will do whatever is asked of it
simply read the manual

pushes buttons
jumps through hoops
waits
waits for prince charming

self-sufficient
requiring nothing but a pen and paper
leave it alone in its room
watch what happens

every day in every way i am getting better and better
i am comfortable with who i am
i am a happy person
my smiles are beautiful

it's simply not the same
it cannot survive (a bald soprano)
it needs a boy
aren't you lucky that you don't?

in love with no one
fond of everyone
a boy who looks the same but not
obsessed with a boy four years its junior

image of rosa parks on television
image of boy masturbating
image of orchid
you only needed to lose thirty pounds

no
this cannot be happening
please god no
i didn't mean

every day in every way i am getting better and better
i am comfortable with who i am
i am a happy person
my smiles are beautiful

has done all it can but still not enough
waits
waits for prince charming
waits for godot

one character in search of an author
finds james joyce in dublin
finds himself in munich
finds his death in venice

every day in every way i am getting better and better
i am comfortable with who i am
i am a happy person
my smiles are beautiful 

i shall hang myself tomorrow
i shall hang myself tomorrow
i shall hang myself tomorrow
unless godot comes.


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