May 1999

Well, my faithful Oasis readers ... I apologize for not writing in what seems like decades and for leaving you all hanging about what is going on with me. So much has happened and I just didn't have the energy or emotional stability to sit down and write an article for you all to read. But, why evade any longer? Thanks for coming back to read my article this month, I'll do my best to be more faithful in being sure to write every month.

I'll begin from the beginning ... I'm sorry to report that the man I wrote so fondly about and I are no longer dating and are barely communicating. I really don't have an explanation for the breakup because I'm honestly not sure I understand what happened either. But, I will say that I learned an AWFUL lot in this relationship and am very happy it happened even though it did end. It was an excellent learning experience and the creator of many fond memories that will take a lifetime to forget. Thanks go out to that special someone for caring for me and loving me as long as you did.

On another note, I found out a great deal about what has been going on behind my back. When I told my mother about being gay in the letter I wrote her ... My mom also let my sister and grandmother read it. If that wasn't bad enough, my sister told my father ... so my whole family knew without saying a word to me. I was screamed at and emotionally devastated by father last week when being confronted about the whole matter, almost one year after the fact he knew. I didn't think I was going to be able to carry on. The whole month has been awful and as the days past, the more and more I learn about what has been going on. I am no longer allowed to go see my counselor for reasons I don't even know myself and my whole building up to coming out has come crumbling down by the fact that I didn't even have to do it. People already did it for me ...

I thought it was supposed to be a positive reaffirming action that allowed the homosexual to feel liberated and open? Not in my case ... once again, I am an exception to the rule.

So I continue my life with high hopes for college next year and the life I will be able to create for myself. I have decided to content myself on the simple pleasures of lives rather then depending on others for my happiness. I will create my happiness and maybe someday ... find someone to only add to it and not provide it.

Well, my faithful readers. That is good for now I guess ... some food for thought and even a little dessert. I hope all of you take care and if you have time ... drop me an e-mail at Chrstian23@aol.com.


With All My Love,


PS. The results to the mini-reader poll came back as people would rather lose their hearing then their eyesight. I drew conclusions to this because we have become very visual people and rely heavily on the things we can see. Thank you all for responding ... the next min-reader poll will be ...

Would you rather be diagnosed with cancer with no chance of recovery or HIV/AIDS? (It was a question asked in health class in my school, by a student presentation ... no offense is meant to anyone by this question...

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