Paul Sepuya

May 1999


This month I ask a question of all you gay folk out there? Have you come out, found yourself comfortable with your sexuality (as not straight nor bi), and then have people ask if you really ARE gay?

That's such a load of shit, I think. And here's why: You're gay, just plain gay. You're a guy who digs guys, or girl who digs girls. Make one comment about a member of the opposite sex, and then... wham, bam! "I knew it! You're just pretending! You just play gay so you can get girls to flash you 'cause they think you don't like it!" I get so much of that from people and it's just crack having people wanting you to prove your gayness.

I know that straight people have to watch out too, and that's a major contributor to homophobia when you have to watch what you comment about members of the same sex. If a guy's straight, he's straight, and still should be able to give an honest opinion on another guy. It's possible. I have straight guy friends who will. And it's just as stupid that straight people and gay people or whatever people should be so defined in sexuality about a comment or two.

People are people, and people can tell attractive people when they see them, no matter what the gender or any other factors. Sexy is a bit different, if you're not attracted to that gender, but if someone asks your opinion on someone, you should be able to answer it without your sexuality being a pawn thrown back and forth across lines. So even though I'm only sexually, romantically, emotionally attracted to males, I can give an honest opinion of a woman's attractiveness. If you're a gorgeous gal, I'm not going to short change you 'cause I don't want to have sex with you.

Another thing this leads too, is when straight guys are so envious of you because you can go places and see things that they can't. I've been in the girls' bathrooms. I had to find someone, so what? Girls have flashed me. We were joking around, so what? Girls tell me things that they don't tell straight guys, so what? And in spite of it, I don't want girls in "that way"? So what?! And no matter what I say or how many guys I've gone out with, there's always a straight guy or two who claims that I have to be straight and just pretending. I have to enjoy it they say, because after all, they are girls.

There's never any mentioning that, mostly also for my being gay, I get to have fun with guys in ways straight guys can't. Guys have flashed me. Straight guys tell me things that they'd never tell other straight guys. No matter how many guys I've gone out with, or how many female friends I have, straight guys are great friends in their own ways. So what? Well... maybe I have had a few thoughts about one or two of them. I enjoy it... after all, they are guys.

Oh, the wonders I imagine of bisexuality. Would both problems of mine be solved if the whole world were all bisexuals to some great extent? Well, what do I know? That could be pure heaven or hell. Hmm. " I like his abs and her hips, because I'm attracted to both! Don't ask me to define myself, I just love people!" As someone who is bisexual probably notices, I know nothing about the subject, and should shut up.

Well, now that I have just about finished up, I have a few suggestions: Don't be censored by your sexual orientation. We can find beauty in people because they're people, no matter which sex(es) you are attracted to. And tell anyone who claims you're just pretending to piss off, and see if he likes pretending to be that target of homophobia.

Two suggestions for happy living. 'Till next month,

Paul Sepuya

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