May 1999

Well this being my third column, I looked back on the first two and said to myself 'Hey, I have never said who I am or anything really about my beliefs.'

I would first like to say that Ty (after I saw his article) inspired me to write for Oasis because I thought, 'Man, here is this 15 year old kid and he makes a difference. Why can't this old queen do it too? (I was always a few light years older that what my license D.O.B. says) Well, I did write the article. It was wild. I mean my mail was always full of very cool gay youth around the world.

Ok, now on to me.

Here is a sample of my life more to come in the future:

I moved out of my mom's house at fifteen into my first boyfriend's house. His name was PJ and he just had a smile that melted ice. And an iron clad personality that I could feel safe with him always.

The reason I left is because my mom was big into drugs and never had time to take the time to talk to me. (Note: I have not talked to her in 3 months. The relationship never was the same afterward.)

So anyway, PJ and me lived together for about six months. Then we both found heroin.

I know NOW that this is not the answer but at the time it was like finding God. From the point I started shooting at 15, I was I different person. Suddenly, PJ's love did not matter to me. Going to school didn't matter to me. Sleeping didn't matter to me. EVEN eating didn't matter to me. What did matter was getting my next hit of smack. I always have had a piece of me that is very addictive. Some call it an addictive personality. But I HATE that term because it is just a piece of my total personality.

So anyway when PJ's dad found out that he was using (he found a loaded syringe in his car), he sent PJ to go live with his mother in North Carolina. But PJ said to his dad that he would kill himself if I could not go with him to his mom's. So his dad, knowing that we were "blood brothers" as he called us, sent us both to live with PJ's mom.

I was very sick when I got there. And so was PJ. But what we didn't know was PJ's dad did not tell his mom why we were coming. And she was so worried about us that she took us to a doctor down there. He took one look at the "trainspots" on our arms and told his mom to leave the room for a minute. He said "he would help us out and give us some meth to help us quit".

Problem was that PJ didn't want to quit, as I found out later. So anyway we used the meth and tried to kick it. I did and well PJ found out where he could cop some heroin. And I was like "No, it is either me or the heroin." Well, the next morning I left on a bus to come back to CT.

Can you guess which one he chose?

This is a story I tell a lot of my friends because well when "push comes to shove" I do what it takes to survive. Even if that I had to leave the one true love.

By the way PJ did get clean when at eighteen he was charged and later convicted of manslaughter. He murdered a guy that said homophobic comments to his b/f at the time. I guess it is really true when I say that his personality was iron clad! He is currently severing 10 to 15 years. With chance of parole in 2002!

Hey that is the article this month and hey check out me home page for what happened to me after that.

sky w.

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