June 1999

The school year is almost up for me as I'm writing this. My entire set of expectations for this summer have changed in the last few months. It makes me wonder about if I should even bother saying where I hope to be in ten years, given the way it's changed in the past few months. I don't honestly know what to talk about in this article. I'm almost tempted to not even write one on the simple fact that I really don't have enough time in my day to write my assigned work, much less my fiction or my articles. Perhaps over the summer ... But I don't think I could do that, if only because in my own reevaluation, maybe somebody will get an insight into their own life ... who knows, weirder stuff has happened.

Brett ...

Well Brett (who now insists that I go back and excise him from Oasis entirely ... ) finally got my stuff back to me. I really want to talk bad about him, now that he finally has no power over anything I care about, I want to completely rip him apart. Seems that no matter how much we grow up, the desire to be childish overcomes us. So in light of this mild internal psychological conflict, I'm only going to use his own words:

ME: like being so serious about [your roommate] that its near marriage?

HIM: well, you can't get married, but we own house, car and buisness toghter [business together].....you sing [sign] things called domestic partnership agrements [agreements], and we have ourselves incorperated [incorporated]...so yea

It surprises me to say it, but I'm actually glad that he and his roommate are happy. Granted, the roommate moved in while we were still together, and strangely coincided with his sudden desire to play around ... go figure. And he's okay with his roommate having sex with other people, so great for him. Just not my cup of tea. I'm past my angry stage.


I don't know if people remember, since as one person mentioned that I rarely keep the same guy for two issues, but about a year ago I dated another Northwestern student. While I was hanging out up there a few weeks ago, I went and hung out with him again, and met his new boyfriend. It was a really nice evening, and it really felt like we reached some closure where we hadn't really had any.

It was interesting because I was ranting and railing about Brett, and he listened for about 2 minutes and went to his Psych book and looked something up. He showed me something that really made my jaw drop, because it Brett's complete character profile. It was pretty humorous (in an eerie distressing manner).

Boys Boys everywhere and not a Monogamous one anywhere:

Call me sexually repressed with a major case of internalized homophobia, but I still want a monogamous relationship ... one where BOTH people involved are monogamous. What's striking me as more and more distressing is that that entire position is criticized in the gay community as applying to a heteronormative stance and is impossible to be achieved in the gay male community. That's really scary because it seems to say that it is impossible to find a long term monogamous relationship; long term defined as life long, not three weeks as a gay friend of mine described his idea of a "long term" relationship. Then does that make me a freak for wanting that? I guess so ...


Well PIM ... jeeze, I should have spent an extra few minutes and come up with a better name than the acronym for Peace Inda Middle ... .oh well. I guess so far, so good is all I can really say. Since he goes to Northwestern, I can't really see him all that much, I still see him quite a bit. He's a wonderful guy, and I'm happy being involved with him. I'm pretty optimistic, but given past history I know its probably less embarrassing in the long run to simply internalize my excitement and hope that that's good enough. We will see ...

China and the world ...

Is anybody else mildly distressed at the fact that China has nuclear warheads and a hell of a lot of US nuclear secrets? I mean I hope the Chinese government doesn't use that information and start blowing countries off the map, but the same can be said of the United States. I, for one, am not particularly happy about the US having US nuclear secrets ... The idea of Uncle Sam atomizing the Chinese doesn't turn me on any more than the Chinese atomizing Chicago (LA's another story ... j/k).

Summer Plans:

Well it looks like I'm spending my summer working in Chicago. I have an apartment, and I recently purchased a 6 week old Golden Retriever puppy. His name is Bazil (Baz for short), he's platinum blond with paws the size of my palms ... ie, he's gonna be one huge dog. I'm very excited about having him live with me. That's what I love about dogs that I can't stand with cats, dogs: you live with, cats: suffer you to share their space because you feed them. I'm a dog person, I'm all about love, bonds, and commitments.

Queen of the Queers:

I am now the chair of Queers and Associates, the University of Chicago GLBT<put your minority group here>. I don't know what to say about that, apart from the fact that my boyfriend came up with, "Queen of the Queers" when I told him. My only complaint is that I can't bitch about the organization anymore because I'm sort of intrinsically a part of it now!


That's about all I can really think about writing about, I hope that if nothing else its been worth your time reading. As always I love e-mail, and if you e-mail soulseer@cyberdude.com I will get the message and reply as soon as I possibly can. Also, if you are an AOL junkie, IM me at uchcgo19. I'm going to be online a lot from work this summer, so feel free to distract me. Take care everybody, and have a great first month of summer.

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