June 1999


I have survived. 525,600 minutes since my words first hit the Oasis site... and I have survived, and evolved, through every one of them.

"How do you measure a year.... how about.. seasons of love" -Rent

I have changed a great deal.

I have become who I want to be.. maybe not exactly, but I have come close. I am who I am. I am free. I am me. I don't cover up who I am with false identities, with masks, with what other people want me to think.

And that is the best thing you can do in life. I believe the most important way you can improve yourself is to be yourself.

525,600 minutes ago... I was who I was told to be. I was behind a wall so thick that no light could pass through it.

Who am I now?

I am learning. I am learning that what is unnecessary can be sacrificed.

Nonconformist. I see so many people who are zombies to those who tell them what to think.. in religion.. in social atmospheres... in parent to child relationships. I have reached the point where I have realized that yes, even my parents are wrong sometimes. And while they have taught me wonderful things, I have found that they have hypocrisy running through their veins like so many others.

So I'm eliminating all this.. all this that I stand against.. out of my system.

Last night, me and a few theatre friends went over to one of our houses, turned on RENT (a beautiful rock musical with several gay characters with AIDS.. very, very inspiring). We danced and sang freely.. we sang at the top of our lungs. We laughed. We panted, almost as free from conformity as we were from ourselves.

To think, they bash dancing... a sin.. dancing.. part of the devil. (Many Christian universities still believe that dancing is taboo.)


Be you.

There is no more powerful message than that.


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