Craig Perry

June 1999

First of all, before I begin, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Craig, I'm 18 years old, and I am gay. Please remember this as you read what I have to say, because I don't doubt that some of you may find this hard to believe after you are finished. I have decided to write this column, not as a gay person, but as a Christian. Now I'm sure many of you may be Christians, and many of you may hate religious people with a passion. Others of you may be neutral, perhaps not really sure how religion relates to you, and are not very interested either. I wish to warn you that this column will most likely offend some of you, perhaps a lot of you. I admit that if someone presented me with this column about two or three years ago I would probably be offended also, or at least shaken up a bit. So now that I've warned you of this, I would like to make my point.

My point is this: that I believe that I was misguided to believe that being gay was ok. I once, like many of you, believed that I was born gay. I believed that it was ok to have homosexual relationships with others. By now you are probably wondering what I believe now. Well basically, what I believe is that one should accept that God will forgive your sin and that one should live for him. I have chosen in my life to do this.

It has not been an easy path to come to this conclusion though. I once decided to pursue a gay life. I went as far as to tell my best friend, my parents, and some of my other close friends that I was gay. None of them said anything against it. In fact, they all chose the point of view of supporting me in this decision. No one stood up and said that this was wrong and that I shouldn't pursue this. My best friend did give me some life changing advice though. His words were simple but straightforward. Pray and read the Bible.

Now, I wasn't really prepared to do this, but I was fairly open to any advice that came across the table. After just telling someone you're gay for the first time in your life, you're not in a very solid emotional state. So I sat down for the first time in my whole life and really called out to God. What I said was mostly along the lines of "Oh my God, what did I just do?" and "Oh my God, what do I do now?" I opened a Bible to the page 1007. (I thought this was my special number because I had come out on October 7, 1997). The Bible said trust God, and for the first time in my life I took the Bible seriously.

I began to seek out God more. This didn't really do much to stop me from being gay, as I continued to "out" myself to various people. Soon though, I was referred to a counselor who was a Christian who claimed to be an ex-homosexual. She said that she was a lesbian for more than 40 years before coming to Christ and putting her past life behind her. I found this hard to take, but I listened to what she said. She said that homosexuals could change through the power of Christ. I didn't really believe her at the time, but more and more now I can see that what she said had some truth. Radical as it may be, anything is possible through the power of God.

I have decided to commit my life to Jesus Christ because I have seen such a radical change in my life through become more committed to Him. I am so radically different now that if I saw myself again as a young naïve person telling his friends that he was gay, I think that I would hate the person I saw. I don't recognize that person in me anymore. I have no desire to follow a gay lifestyle. I have a definite desire to follow Jesus.

You may think that I'm really weird by now, that I probably shouldn't be writing this on this website, that I should be keeping my ideas to myself. However, I believe I have a right to voice my opinion as you are doing also. You are saying I wish to be gay, and I am saying that I wish to be a servant of God. "What does this have to do with me?" you may ask. Plenty, because if I'm right, you are all not following God's original plan for people's lives.

I believe that God intended for everybody to be heterosexual. Now I know what you're thinking, "If God intended for everyone to be straight, then why am I not straight?" All I can say to that is that God has a reason for allowing homosexuality. It's just like why does God let psychopaths and child molesters and people who kill innocent people exist. Why don't we all live in a happy sin-free world? Well I've got news for you: we sinned. People, Adam and Eve or not, sinned and rejected God and when that happened God allowed Satan to take control of the world and people's lives. Satan I believe created homosexuality as a device to draw people away from God's plan. It is up to us now to reject Satan and follow God's will even though it is difficult.

However, society now has decided that it will allow the easy way to win out. We have allowed many things in our society to become so commonplace that we don't even notice it anymore. Violence, sex, profanity, and also homosexuality have all become generally accepted as normal in society. People tell us it's ok to be gay because they don't want us to face the facts that it isn't ok and that we must learn to deal with the temptation.

Why do you think that so many people are homophobic? They know that it isn't normal behavior and they resist it because they realize that it is deviant to normality. They realize that our bodies were created by God and were designed for sexual reproduction by sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. Now I know it isn't easy to resist temptation. I still have to deal with this on a daily basis, and I don't believe that I will ever be totally straight, but I know now that I'm not totally gay anymore. I don't really enjoy condemning other people, it's just that I felt so motivated to write this. I feel that this is the right thing to do, to speak up about what I believe in and raise awareness to my personal point of view.

I don't think I should make this very much longer, I think that I've already made a bold enough statement for now. I'm just glad that this is over the Internet, or else you all would probably come over and kick my ass. I know I'm going to get some e-mail back that may be even more condemning than my message. I want you to know now that I welcome this. I really look forward to what you have to say to all this, good or bad. So here is my e-mail address cslp@hotmail.com, and if you really want to get at me then you can ICQ me at 5796974. I hope this has raised some controversy.

Craig Perry

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