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Douglas

July 1999

When my online friend Ty talked me into writing a column for Oasis, I told him I didn't have that much to write about, that pretty soon I wouldn't know what to say. He said just do it, that I would think of something. He always does, but he has to really work for it sometimes.

I look at all the other columns and the writers are all older than me. They are in high school or college and have done lots more than I have. So I got all the way to today without any ideas. I wasn't going to write a column this month, but Ty says once I skip one it is too easy to keep skipping and suddenly I don't even think about writing any more. So I will just tell a couple of things that happened in the life of a 13 y/o gay boy.

A couple of weeks ago a kid in my school tried killing himself because he is gay and picked on. I tried to be his friend before but he didn't seem to want friends. He was too smart for friends. The day he tried he came to me to talk, but I had baseball and told him I was too busy to talk. He kept bugging Alan and me, even going to the baseball game. I guess maybe I should have figured that something was wrong when he wanted to talk that bad. When I found out the next day what he did, I almost thought it was my fault because I walked away from him. But he has lots of problems to figure out. Killing himself wasn't what was bothering him when he started bugging us. He was worried about a kid beating him up for quite a few reasons. Well, he did get beat up (again) and that's when he went home and took pills. Last week he came to my last day of school party and made a good friend. I can't tell him I'm gay too, I don't know him all that well yet. But I can work to help him as a friend.

Steve came to the party. Then went to another party with his friend. This one had alcohol and they got drunk. I worry about him. He now says he isn't gay, and that I have to grow up and quit doing "kid's stuff." But I know he still messes around with his friend even if he doesn't with me. I think he is drinking so much because he can't accept who he is, so he is trying to be the wild party boy. But then what do I know. I know I love him and wish we could be really good friends again.

My friend Rick came out to his parents this weekend. He is 16 and is going to be a senior next year. I was wondering what they would think. They were cool about it. His dad said all he wanted was for Rich to grow up to be a happy successful adult. And if he was gay, then he would hope he would grow up to be happy with who he is. I hope my parents are like that whenever I come out. I think they will be. I'm pretty lucky, I've got pretty cool parents (most of the time anyway).

I was elected student body president at my middle school. So of course I have to stay quiet about being gay, as much as I would like to tell everybody, "Hey, look who you elected!" Probably not a good idea though. Funny thing is I've messed around with two other new officers, the 8th grade vice president, and the 7th grade president. The 8th grader is pretty much gay, but a little bi. The 7th grader really just likes to mess around, though his twin brother might be gay. It seems won't be totally alone next year during student council meetings. So you better check out the government at your school, who knows who you elected.

I hope I have some big topic to write about next month. This month was just sharing the little things. And I guess little things are important in life too.


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