July 1999

Let us all pretend that this is not my first time writing for Oasis but first things first. Allow me to tell you a few things about myself since that would be a good way to start this thing off, right? My name is Marc, I'm going to be in 9th grade in the fall and I play forward for my ice-hockey travel team. My favorite pro hockey team is the Colorado Avalanche and the player I like the most? Colorado's smooth-skating, eat-my-dust-while-I-make-your-goalie-look-silly Peter Forsberg. He's good! They did pretty well this year but they got booted out of the playoffs in the Western Conference Finals by this year's Stanley Cup champs, the Dallas Stars. Yuck, I'm not real happy about that!

Well, I started ice-skating when I got hockey skates from my parents for Christmas when I was little and my older brother Matthew used to take me to the pond that freezes over in the winter close to where we live to watch him and his friends play. I couldn't play with them yet because I sucked and just got in their way so I was just by myself with a stick and a puck but I totally loved it. I got better after my parents put me in ice hockey clinics for power skating, stick-handling and shooting and the rest they say is history. I'm not a "dumb jock" but I'm no Einstein either. I'm an average student, your typical 14-year-old and just another face in the crowd. Except I'm bisexual. I think. LOL!

My parents met at a school party in Florida where they both went to college and fell head over heels for each other then got married after they graduated. They settled down in Nevada for a couple of years where my dad's side of the family is from to get their life started but quickly found out that living close to your relatives is not always a good thing. They used to tell us how annoying it was when my grandma and grandpa just shows up at the apartment without calling and staying for hours just to chat when sometimes, they just needed to be alone. To do what? You figure it out. I guess it's kinda like how I used to drive Matt crazy when I stayed in his room too long? Well, it's not that my parents didn't like my grandparents or anything but mom and dad didn't have the balls to tell them to leave so they decided they needed to settle down somewhere else. They saved enough money and moved to Colorado when Matt was a year old because they really liked it after going skiing around here a few times on their vacations and thought it would be the perfect place to raise kids. I was born a year later and mom quit her job when I was a little older because dad wanted her to so she could stay home with us all the time plus they get to spend more time together at night when he gets home from work. My mom's from Ohio by the way, probably the most boring place on earth because there is just nothing to do there! Nothing except watch the grass grow in the backyard.

My early experiences with boys


The first boy that ever messed with me was my second-cousin Wesley. He lives in Ohio and I met him for the first time when my whole family went there to visit for a week when I was 9 years old. Wesley acted like the biggest fag you could possibly imagine. He's been acting like a girl for as long as anybody have known him but I thought his act was a little bit exaggerated when nobody else was around to see. I remember how he walked kinda funny, talked with his hands with that wrist action and when he got mad, he did this silly turn of the head thing, eyes closed, chin pointed almost to the sky with his arms crossed while tapping his toes on the ground.

I have never seen another boy act like that so I asked my dad what in the world was wrong with Wesley. He told me Wesley just thought he was gay and that's the first time I remember ever hearing the word. I just saw it as being different so I started acting like him. Bad idea! My dad told me to stop because boys are not supposed to act like girls and that if I kept it up, he was going to punish me so I did just that. I only started doing it anyway because that's what I thought being gay meant, just "acting like a girl." I liked hanging around Wesley because I was just curious and thought it was really cool to "play fag" with him but I made sure dad wouldn't see me acting like him so when he's around, no playing fag for me.

One day, my parents went out early to go shopping for Matt's clothes and they left me behind at my grandparents house because I was still sleeping. Wesley came over and woke me up and asked me if I wanted to play video games and see the fort he built with his friends in the woods behind their house. I told my grandma that I was going with Wesley across the street and she told me to be back for lunch. We went to his house but I got bored with the video games real quick cause I have never been able to sit around for long periods of time so we went in the woods instead. A little hyper maybe? I thought it was cool that he had his own little place in the woods to play. It was just a big hole on the ground with little shelves carved into the walls with water balloons in them so if somebody came, we could bomb them the living crap out of them. I started chucking the water balloons, pebbles and whatever I could get my hands on at the slightest noise I heard. We ran out of ammo but it was alright because nobody ever came back there anyway so when Wesley was positively sure that the coast was clear and all our enemies were dead, he would kiss me on the lips and squeeze my penis over my shorts. I was surprised but he made it fun like it was just a game of "I kiss you, you kiss me, I squeeze you, you squeeze me." He took me back there a few more times and did the same thing to me before we finally went home to Colorado. I didn't want to get punished so I never told my mom, dad or Matt that I "played fag" with Wesley plus it was our little secret.

My parents told us that Wesley's family had always known that he was gay ever since he was little because he was just a bit "girlish" but they couldn't do anything about it. They tried talking to him hoping he would change but he never listened. They even made him go to counseling but that didn't work but like they say, people are born gay and they will stay that way. At least Wesley wasn't as bad when other people were around but it was obvious enough that if you saw him for the first time, you'd know that Wesley had a few loose screws that needed a little tightening. Well, they don't have to worry about Wesley changing anymore because now, he is as permanent as anybody could be. Mom got a phone call from Ohio not too long because Wesley had killed himself with sleeping pills, he was only 17. I wonder why? Maybe because kids are taught from the very beginning that the worst thing they could possibly be is to be gay?


We have our differences but we also share plenty of things in common.

We were born on different months, seven days apart but share the same astrological sign.

He's obnoxious and I'm reserved but we're both good at being bad.

He plays lacrosse, I play ice hockey. Jocks?

Both of our parents are good friends and guess what? So are we.

Wait a minute, he's actually more than just a good friend, he's my best friend. We grew up together on this same block and when we step outside and take a look around, every little thing we see has a little story to tell.

"You see that fire hydrant over there?...Alex totaled his RC car that day he had one too many cups of lemonade and crashed it there head on. He should have given me the darn keys!" LOL

"Hey Marc, you remember the time when you gave yourself the queen mother of all wedge's when you were getting off this tree and your underwear got caught on that thing and landed face first on the ground?"

"F You Alex"

When we came back from our dumb visit to Ohio, I just had to show Alex the new "game" I learned from Wesley. We were in his room watching a movie and I told him my cousin that acted a little different. He had no idea what I was talking about so he wanted me to clear things up a bit so I kissed him. He was like "What was that for?" I told Alex that Wesley was like that, that he likes kissing boys. His reaction? A simple OK then he kissed me back.

Every time after that first kiss when we went to each others houses, the first thing we did was go into our rooms and peck each other on the lips instead of slapping each other a low five. It was better that way and as far as we knew, we were the only ones doing it so we had our own little "club" that nobody else was a member of. The Secret MarcAlex Kiss Club. Very original right? So we started doing it on a regular basis and even now, we always kiss in private when we see each other. Even is school, we would hide in the bathroom stall to just kiss and its kinda like our tradition now.


Surprised? Well don't be! I'm a walking kissing machine. I'd kiss you too so don't get too close to that screen. I learned everything that I do now with Alex from Matt. When me and Alex were 11, Matt caught us kissing one day in my room and pretended he never saw anything but that night, he came into my room and asked me to do other things besides making out that I never knew was a part of "playing fag." He asked me to put his penis in my mouth and if I didn't, he was going to tell our dad that he caught me kissing Alex. I knew my dad was going to blow his top off if he found out.

Hmm. What the heck do I do? Do I want to get punished or do what he just told me to do?

"I'm going to tell dad what you're trying to make me do!"

He didn't like that so he came up with an even "better" idea. He was going to do me first and if I did him after, he'd keep his mouth shut about Alex. Sounds good but still a blackmail. He made me take my underwear off and told me to just lay down on my bed. I was nervous and shaking but the feeling I felt when he put my penis in his mouth was just incredible, it was something that I have never felt before but I know now that I fired a blank because when it was his turn, the taste that he left in my mouth was something I would never forget!!!

We did it a few more times but he stopped asking me to do stuff with him all of a sudden. I was scared that he was going to tell my dad about me and Alex more than anything but he never did. Matt knows that me and Alex mess around so in other words, I'm out. Sort of. So if Matt ever decides to rat me out, I'm bringing the whole house down with me and start a little war.

School stuff

As I said before, I'm going to be in 9th grade and I don't know what to think of it. It's still a little more than a month away but I get the butterflies just thinking about going to school and feeling like I'm going to be the new kid on the block. In 8th grade, we were the kings of the school cause we were the oldest kids in there but soon, we'll be the pawns in a school ruled by those old, hairy 12th graders. What goes around comes around? Well, I don't think it going to be that bad because my friends and hockey teammates are going to be there with me along with Matt and Vanessa, the girl that I'm going out with now.

Vanessa was in my home economics class in 8th with my friend Brian. Brian's girlfriend is really good friends with Vanessa so they set us up and it went from there. I really hate those set-up things. Passing notes and trying not to get caught by our mean old teacher. But Vanessa is cute, quiet and shy but Brian told me it's those quiet girls are the ones I have to watch out for but so far, she hasn't killed me yet so its all good. Gee, I wonder what he meant by that? Well, it sure made that stupid class worth going to cause we'd flirt all the time. And who the heck wants to learn how to sew pillows and make picture frames when I could just go to the store and get one anyway? Useless class!

I have all these Sequences I have to follow in class throughout high school so I could graduate, like little baby steps? I don't know but I picked a science and a math sequence cause they usually go hand-in-hand? That's what my school advisor told me. Well a student has to have 2 sequences to get a diploma with all the other classes like Phys. Ed., Foreign Language, English, Social Studies, and I picked Art just to fill up my schedule. I like doodling when I have nothing better to do so I'll see if I like that! Maybe I'll become a Picasso or something.

Wait, why in the world am I even worrying about school now when I'm in the middle of summer vacation? I guess I'd let you know more about it if this thing gets published? Just in case, here is my e-mail address if you need to ask or tell me anything, threaten my life of whatever you wish to do. Black-Biscuit-56@excite.com

So long peoples,


Wesley - I hope you're in a better place.

About the Author
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