July 1999

Hello, again, everyone! It has been quite a while since I last wrote a column, so I thought that it would be a good idea to do so. Honestly, though, I really did MEAN to write my column.. I just never seemed to remember to do so before the deadline. God forbid I ever decide to go into journalism.

At any rate, let me update you on the not-so-exciting world that is My Life.

Having spent the spring semester at a local community college, I had the chance to catch up with all my old high school friends. I tell you, it was wonderful - just like old times. One of my best friends met the man of her dreams, and is now simply waiting for him to propose. I couldn't be happier for her. She has been one of my dearest companions, and has stuck by me despite her religious beliefs (you know, being gay is a sin, blah, blah...). We respectfully disagree, and I am glad that she understands that we both serve God in our own way.

Ah, yes. I did say God, didn't I? It's true... I consider myself a Christian. I read a wonderful book by Bruce Bawer - "Stealing Jesus" - and it opened my eyes to a lot of things. Amazing what a trip to a bookstore in Disneyworld can net you, isn't it? And by the way, if anyone reading this happens to be acquainted with Bruce - or better still, IS Bruce - I just wanted to say "Thank you." I'm happier than I've been in a while. (It's funny; of the few gay-oriented books my high school library had, Mr. Bawer's "A Place At the Table" was one of them. I think I read that book through about 30 times.) Moving along, though...

I have done the worst thing I think I could have done: I've fallen in love with a straight(?) man. My best friend, actually. It's always the best friend, isn't it? It wouldn't be so bad, really, if he wouldn't give me mixed signals. From time to time, he has mentioned that he has found me attractive, that if he were gay he would go out with me, etc. I'm still trying to sort out my feelings for him. Wish me luck on that one.

Sometime during the summer, I'll be moving downstate to Peoria, Illinois. I can hardly wait. Ah well; it certainly can't be any more dull than where I live NOW. Perhaps I'll even find love (but not with a straight[?] man).

Let's see...what else is there? I've been trying rather unsuccessfully to lose weight. It's very hard when you're gay and depressed about it, isn't it? It seems like food is the only comforting thing there... Bah. Perhaps I'll find my will-power, or whatever it is I need to do it.

That's really all there is. As I said, my life is not terribly exciting at the moment. But then, life has a funny way of.. well, I'm sure you've heard the song.

It figgers.


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