August 1999

Anybody in the Mood for a Slice of "Reality" pie?

Hi, my name is Adam and this is my first article in the Oasis Magazine. I am a 21 year-old gay male from the land of one billion cornfields, good ol' Iowa. I am currently in the midst of a long, boring and generally uneventful summer vacation. I think when it comes down to it, I would rather be at school with my head hunched over a book and my nose pressed to the pages before sitting around, doing next to nothing, and working my sorry excuse for part-time summer employment.

Recently, with the encouragement of a friend, I visited a website written by the mother of a gay teenager who took his life a little over three years ago. Let's call this teenager, for reference sake, Bill. I was deeply saddened by the events that precipitated Bill's death. Bill finally decided to come out to his parents at 14. This was a very emotional thing for him to do but he did it anyway. His parents took it well and encouraged him to seek help and guidance from a support group located at the college nearby them. It is here that he encountered the dark side to a supposed good thing.

It's strange, from my life experiences I have learned to never take a thing for what it is supposed to be at first glance. Bill unfortunately had not experienced the painful sting of reality. It all came to real for him while attending the support group that his parents had so faithfully suggested to him. While attending the support group Bill was befriended by an older male in the group. This older male encouraged him to follow him home to his house one evening to borrow a "book". When they got their he forced Bill to have sex with him. Bill was only a kid and was unable to stop it. He didn't want to admit to himself what happened and over time slunk into a cocoon of pity and depression.

Bill tried to fight, tried to become whole again. However, Bill encountered many negative obstacles along his unsuccessful journey to reclaim his life. He was even beaten severely by a group of enraged, homophobic teenagers one evening. It was just too much for him to handle. Over a tumultuous three-year period Bill was unable to put his life back together; unable to mend the deep wounds that had been forever opened.

I am saddened that the fears, phobias and bigotry's of society drove Bill to his death. As a young gay man I have found it hard in this world to find a place to feel safe and it is very important that we keep such travesties from taking place. Bill was an inspiration for us all and I hope that from his death that we can spawn change that encompasses love not hate. God created us as individuals, may we hope that those who have closed minds will not stamp out our individuality in the end.

If you have any comments or suggestions for me, please write me at boyblue99@hotmail.com.

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