oasis
columns


A.J.

August 1999

Well to begin with, I'd like to offer my apologies for not being online last month. I just recently moved and my Internet connection had yet to get fully established by the first of the month. The last couple of months have been eventful to say the least. And as usual I don't really know where to start.

Bazil Damon...

Well I now own a very, very beautiful golden retriever puppy that I have named "Bazil Damon." Yes, I know the correct spelling is "Basil", but I live in the States, and therefore spelling modifications have to be made in order that the British name is not mispronounced. After all, who on earth would name their dog "basil"? His middle name is after the Greek "Damon" who gave his life in order to protect his friend/lover/whatever Pythias. That (combined with the fact that simply his name and mine would probably come up a double hit in the AKC records) is the reason I chose Damon as his middle name.

Now why did I spend such a tremendous amount of time on the topic of naming my dog? Well the answer is fairly simple. A name is something that is very powerful. It guides people's reactions and (in the case of humans) it guides the named. Parents choose the names of their offspring as a measure of themselves and their hopes for the child. Think back to the Jeff's, Josh's, and Ryan's you know... and compare them to the Fred's, Marvin's... Our own name prejudices how we are perceived and understood by other people, and that in turns changes how we perceive ourselves. For the same reason naming a dog "Sumo" would be pointless for me. I have no desire for my dog to be a giant wrestler. I want Bazil to be well behaved: hence the British name; and I want him to be a good friend and companion: hence Damon the epitome of a friend.

Now on to the real motivation for me getting Bazil... I wanted something that I could love unconditionally. A dog is something that I know is never going to stop loving back or move on to his roommate, or just get bitchy for no reason. So, like most parents' reasons for having kids, my motivation was entirely selfish.

PIM...

I've given up. I've fallen in love with this guy pretty thoroughly, and there's just not a lot that can be said. I mean in all respects I can think of, he's perfect for me... he's beautiful, loving, generous, kind... bitchy as fuck sometimes, but only cause he thinks he's completely right (don't we all...). I mean in terms of the greater scope of people, he's probably not perfect. You have to appreciate his complete naivete about people, and the only way to do that is to (formerly) be in possession of that same naivete. He's incredibly jealous, but then again so am I (Just after Brett, I've learned to control it). He's also really easily upset over really silly things, and that's just something we have to work on. ...

"work on"... I think that's really what the crux of why my relationship with PIM might maybe just not leave me in pieces... he's willing to work on something. He doesn't expect it to be perfect right away. He's not itching to run away and embrace the first twink that crosses his path (something I've become a little less resistant to...). He loves me, and he loves me enough to not just let me go... but is willing to hold on and work things out. He still never admits when he's wrong, or apologizes for being stupid.... but like I said, we can work on that. As long as he's willing to work on it, I am too... may his patience run forever. (FOUR MONTHS STRONG!)

Roommate...

Roommate life sucks. I hate having to deal with another person sharing my living space. The fact that she's a complete case study of annoying habits doesn't help things. ANYWAY, on wards and upwards.

Mommy...

Well the folks got a divorce, I don't know if I mentioned that, but that happened back in April. Oh well, I really don't care apart from the fact that my entire family is miserable and broke... my father is a complete asshole, and I sincerely hope that there's a hell that he can roast in for the remainder of eternity for what he's doing to my mom and brothers (him and his South African woman too). My relationship with my mom is improving a little... I mean we are on speaking terms and she's actually expressing a positive desire to see me again... I'm a little surprised at that... but very very happy. I know she's not going to be the accepting fag hag mom like some people I know... but I'll take what I can get.

Summer...

Summer has sucked. It's consisted of work, school, work, sleep: during the weekdays, and PIM on the weekends... ok... the weekends have been cool, but the majority of my summer still has sucked. Hopefully things will improve.

Finale...

OK, I'm sorry that my two month make up article is not even two pages long, but I really need to get some sleep and the article's already late. Oh yeah, before I forget: ALI I LOVE YOU!!!! Congrats on the boy! Okay, had to get that out before I went to bed. Umm... as usual e-mail me at soulseer@cyberdude.com, or IM at uchcgo19. Take care, and have a great summer.


About the Author
©1998-1999 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.