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Nathan

August 1999

Coming out, my experience.

When I came out last year, I was dating a girl but we were not serious. I was attending a catholic school where relationships went as far as holding hands, and since the school was so small all the students and teachers knew all the relationships. At the end of my 8th grade year I told one of my friends I was gay. It felt like 100 pounds had been lifted from my shoulders. I then told my girlfriend, and while I was telling her a girl in my class was listening to everything we said, and by the end of the week everyone at my school knew. At first I thought "this is horrible" but most of my classmates were extremely supportive and loving.

Later that week, one of my teachers had a talk with my parents about everything. That night, my parents and I had a long talk about it. They immediately put me in counseling. The councilor was a real jerk and understood nothing I told him, so after a couple of days with that I just gave up and played along with him and told him I think I'm straight and it's just a phase I'm going through.

That was the worst thing I could have did, but it gave me time to think about the situation. It is in your favor to know everything about a situation your going through. It wasn't until a couple months ago my parents and I talked again about me being gay. After the talk my dad was okay with it, but my mother had 1,000 questions and 1,000 questions about the answers to the questions. I didn't even have the answers to some of the questions she asked me, and so took that opportunity to convince herself that since I didn't know the answer I must not be gay.

Coming out is a long process at least is for me. It is defiantly something that takes patience and great understanding. For the time being I plan to give my parents some time to think about it. Coming out is not only coming out to your parents but coming out to yourself as well.

I wish everyone the best of luck and if you have any questions or comments please e-mail them to me.

Nathan


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