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Four Poems by John

I Want

To Look at him is painful, It is painful because I want him, I long for him to embrace me. I want to feel his arms around me. Everytime I see him I want to tell him I am in Love with you. I want to hug him and kiss him. I want to talk to him listen to his fears his dreams. I want to listen to his heart beat I want to hear him breath. I want to be there for him when he gets a new job, I want to be there when he falls on his face. I want to tell him everything will be ok. I want to tell him trust me everything will work out if we are together for there will be nothing we can't handle together. I want to feel his warm body laying next to me. I want to see him wake up in the morning. I want to know what he is thinking, I want to know what his day is going to be like, I want to know how his day went. Oh if only he knew how much I want him, how much I love him. If only he paid attention to me. If only he looked at me and if only he said something more than hi good morning how are you doing? I would get on my knee and tell him I love you I want to be with you always. If only he would notice me. If only he were gay.

Is it Real

Are your feelings real is what you are feeling real? Is your touch real Do you mean what you say to me are they real? Do you know what your words do to me? Do you know what your actions do to me? My thoughts are real for you my words I am afraid to tell you how I feel for I might scare you away. My actions would be real if I had the courage to act on them. I know if I could act on them I would make you happy. Seeing you smile brings me joy you could never imagine, but I wonder is your smile real? Are you really happy? I love your laugh it is so cute to hear your laugh to see your facial expressions. When I see you laugh I want to hug and kiss you. But I wonder is your laugh real are you really happy. I know if given a chance I would make you happy. Then your laughter your smile would be real.

A Kiss

It is first a look in your direction
Then it is a smile a smile a mile wide
The smile is so beautiful it is a smile of
acknowledgement not of lust but of Hi
I want to get to know you. As you talk
it is talk of life of dreams of fears and of goals.
Something deep inside makes you yearn for him.
Something deep inside overpowers your senses
and you kiss him. A kiss from him is so right
so electrifying so impulsive it is a kiss that could
last forever. Then when you back away there is
the smile that is a mile wide looking at you. Life is complete.

Who Am I

Who am I? I ask I know who I am
I am me I am bright I am witty I am
sensitive. I know right from wrong I
Know what is just in a must know world.
My thinking is modern but somehow different.
Someone asks Who are you? I reply I am me
I am bright I am witty, They ask again
Who are you? I start my reply. Then it is when
it is said No who do you love? It is then I proudly say
I AM GAY I say I love HIM I yearn for his touch and
I yearn for his embrace. My reply is then questioned. My
reply is firm and just. Who are you to question who I love?
Who are you to question my love for him? Who are you to
question a kiss from him. It is then my questions are finally laid
to rest. I know who I am I am bright I am witty I am sensitive
I am gay I am proud

jjia@geocities.com


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