October 1999

An Ordinary Introduction

My name is Brian David. I am a 20 year old male that currently attends SF State. I am majoring in English.

I am writing this while watching one of my favorite movies, 'The Nightmare Before Christmas.'

To start off dryly, I was born in Fullerton CA. That's next to the city with that park built around a mouse. I was born on October 8th 1978 as Ryan. I was adopted eleven months later, and renamed Brian, my parents wanted to name me David, but figured that I was used to Ryan. Hence, David is my middle name. I know nothing of my biological parents except that they were not married, and young, teenagers I believe. I have not yet searched as I don't want to deal with the hassle.

To fast forward past my dull suburban youth where I was social, Boy Scouts, Baseball and Soccer, and the rest of the typical boy things. Yup, I am one of the many who can say the trite phrase, 'I knew at a young age.' It was a dream when I was really young. I knew the whole conception deal, not the grim facts but I knew the story in the Dick and Jane way, all very innocent. I had dreamed of an all male conga line, to put it gently. I wondered why nothing of this nature existed. I thought I had made up a whole new way of life. I was going to be praised for my new idea. Guess I was wrong. Now you know of my naive nature. Even at this age I had a dream of me leaning in to a man's neck, I thought to myself, 'Not another vampire dream.' and woke up, not even knowing of the erotic nature until much later.

I have no trouble accepting the fact that I am gay. More troubling is accepting that I am Goth. It is not something that I admit freely. Apart from all of that I am a Anti-Social Fatalist. There are those that believe that the glass is half full, there are those that believe that the glass is half empty. For me, the glass is empty and shattered on the ground, and I am about to step in the shards, barefooted.

I hope to write more, maybe of a personal nature, maybe fiction, depending on the reaction I get. Thank you for a slice of your attention.



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