Troy N. Diggs

October 1999

September 28, 1999

Well, this past month has a been a real life change... it started with me being unemployed after quitting my job to me having two jobs and not being in school anymore... and me going through yet another birthday...

Between all that, though, there's still some of the same old headaches and whiny stuff... love life sucks... and, really, it kind of does. I'd say out of the last, oh, 5 guys I've gone out with (even once), one was remotely dateable... and a very romantic fellow too...

... but sometimes, though, life isn't fair. About a month and a half ago, this handsome guy came into my workplace wanting to rent "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss"... of course, this movie's not in high demand for the straight boys in Jonesboro, Arkansas, so I figured I'd subtly suggest that the two of us go out... nothing special; lunch, or maybe karaoke in Memphis or whatever... (the karaoke part was before I started working from 12:30 AM to 9:30, Monday-Friday.)... and he said yes.

It never happened. To make the story even more "God, why"-ish, boy is going out with someone I know... a nice guy in his own right, but never someone I've thought of as being very personable (in that he's very shy)... and it stings just a little. Maybe I'm whining too much, I don't know... but the bottom line is that there was an opportunity, and it vanished without me doing anything about it.

Honestly, that concept is a little hard for me to grasp, because I'm usually so damned hard on myself that it ain't pretty... I mean, sure, I'm getting better (otherwise, I'd be REALLY beating this over my head), but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt... it just means that... umm... gee, I don't know.

Somebody stop me before I turn into Celine Dion.



eMail is groovy... eMail me @ TDiggs@aztec.astate.edu, or visit my Web page @ http://www.geocities.com/tdiggs/ ... toodles...

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