Lincoln Ho

October 1999

Hi everybody!

Thanks for all your continuous support and for reading (or not reading) my columns for all this time.

Now last month, I was still in the middle of my six week camp at Borden. As stories go, there's always a part two. And this part two fortunately is a happy one.

A few days after I wrote the column, things started to get to the climax. Mooning and flashing had started to go on within groups of cadets and so on in the male tent lines. Of course, this is definitely NOT cadet behavior and also, they were urinating in the tents, which added to how bad the conduct and behavior is, but it is only the few cadets that ruin it for the rest of the people.

Anyway, one night, I had enough of it and I went to hide in my sleeping bag to sort of separate myself with them. But no, they couldn't leave me alone, so one of them came up to my sleeping bag, unzipped it, and flashed me right there. I got so upset and I just went back to hide even more. All of the tent mates and uninvited guests were making jokes to me and stuff. It was worse than Penhold the year before. A lot of them had heard rumors that had broken out from the girls.

Going on, I decided to go to camp control to report all the stuff going on. That morning, I was taken out of class and to the Military Police Building on base. It was the worst thing that happened the whole camp, though it was supposed to be the time where justice was finally served.

They put me into a room for hours on end. The questioned me on and on, coming in and out with intervals of half to two hours, then they would ask me the same stuff and try to find flaws in what I said or if I said something new to the story, they would ask me why I didn't tell them before and so on. They asked me what happened and so on and they made me quote the swears they said and so on.

With me being a Christian, it was very hard for me to do that. I prayed many times that day whenever I was alone in the room and I fell asleep many times. I did have access to water, washroom, and snack facility all for no cost of the food but I did not take the advantage of that. The others that I reported had none of these privileges. Anyway, after a pre-wrapped submarine for lunch (which was not enough for my appetite), they gave me a witness report to write. I finished it in about fifteen minutes. The police guy came back in and read my report. He said that it was the best penmanship that he had seen for the whole day, he also said it was even better than his own writing. I took that as a big compliment.

So later on, the police guy asked me if I wanted to charge one of the people I reported. I said no (maybe because that guy was hot, I don't know). But the police guy gave me only one option on one person that I reported, I don't know why not the others. And apparently, the other three guys were returned home. The one that flashed me was charged with sexual assault and had to go to youth court in September.

From then on, I had decided to never ever report anything again. This year, the Canadian Forces put in a new policy where if anything is reported, it directly goes to the military police to handle. I didn't know that it would take so much and so much courage to be the cadet that 'ratted' them out. I felt so bad and now, I was in very hot water.

While I was at the police place, one of the girls told everyone about my identity during class. Since I was the only one that came back into class, they already knew who was responsible for sending the three cadets home. Many people were very pissed off at me, especially their girlfriends. While many on the other hand, were glad that the pricks were gone and they told me that it was fine and it was good that I did it. Well, of course you would say that if you're not the one that got yourself in the position of being beaten up. Now I was known as the gay cadet in tech and as the person that ratted people out. I can't even describe how I felt. I was not going to go back to that terrible place again and now, I had to watch my back for everything. Of course, I didn't really know that until I realized how serious it was.

One of the friends I made, Katlyn, was very concerned about me and told the Padre that people were going to beat me up. I did not hear anything about it prior to this but the girlfriends of the people sent home were going to go into the male tent lines to beat me up, risking themselves to go back home. The male friends of the guys were definitely going to do it, and some of the others were going into it because I was gay.

Yes, it all comes down to hate again. The big three letter word. Its probably among the top five most reactive words. I think the other four are shark, God, look, and fire. But anyway, why because I am gay? Why not because of people being straight? Does it always have to be the people that are different from you? Is it always the gay people that have to face life with fear? It saddens me to find out that there isn't really a free country to live in. It would only be in heaven which would have no suffering. Of course, I wont be able to go. I know that I am on both sides of the fence here and when the day of judgment comes, I will be in hell. My goal on being a Christian is not to think about my eternal future, but to help other people into God's kingdom. It may sound very strange to many of you, but you won't understand until you've received God's blessing. And, I will also try not have SEX for the rest of my life. It's hard but it's something to live to. This will come my next column.

Going back to the Borden story, I was moved into the senior officer tent in the male officer lines. That was really cool and I actually got a real bed to sleep in instead of the cots they gave us. I had a whole two section mod tent to myself. I've got pictures of this in my web site at http://i.am/lincolnho.

While in my tent, one of the officers, who I will address as the MIR guy ('cuz he was in charge of the Medical Inspection Room, or should I say tent). So the MIR guy was going to wait for the padre to talk to me but he was impatient to he came to talk to me. We met very formally, for you have to see that I was a cadet and he was an officer, chain of command applies throughout the whole facility. He shook my hand and he talked and told me that he was gay as well. I really forgot what he actually told me because I thought that he was another one of those officers that were asking me if I was still being harassed. I had basically locked out all communication with officer because of the military police incident. I would nod my head and answer questions and that was it. It wasn't until the MIR guy said something about coming out that I started to listen to him. Then, I finally looked at him and realized that he was the hot MIR guy. Anyway, to make the story a little shorter, he gave me a very special article of his to me.

He gave me his gay pride pin to me. If I knew what its significance was when I took it, I never would have taken it, but then, he says he needed to move on. The pin was given to him by his boyfriend who had died in a car accident. It touched me when he told me that on the Internet. I took something that is very special to me, but it was even more special to him. It just shows how much he respected or cared about me at the time.

The MIR guy, believe it or not, over trips to Wonderland, the CNE, Toronto, the mall, Barrie, the Beach, a 26 KM canoe trip, and the whole course itself, was the highlight of my camp. After I met him, I couldn't help but smile for the rest of the camp and wear my pin with pride. Every time I put it on, I don't care what others think (they don't know what the rainbow colored maple leaf is in Edmonton), and also about how special the pin is to me personally. He and I have become friends thanks to the Internet.

I've written quite a lot already so I will postpone the four part continuation of the excerpts from my book on my four crushes. In fact, I will make a promise that my November column will have the last two in it to make up for this column as well.

So take care you all! Happy Thanksgiving in Canada and also have a safe Halloween, for those of you that are still a bit young at heart. Visit my site for more info on me. http://i.am/lincolnho.

Lincoln Ho

About the Author
©1998-1999 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.