October 1999

Hi my name is Ray and I live in Southern California. I am a 21 year old Safety Coordinator at a local gas station. I just thought I might be able to offer gay youth who feel their life is more than intolerable some advice.

In high school, I had a problem dealing with my sexuality. I felt I had no one to talk to. I could not be my true self. I took my aggression out on my mother and on my friends. As a result I lost one of my friends. I found that when I came out to just one person that I knew I could trust I felt relieved. I chose to come out to a guy that I worked with that had proven to me that I could trust him. We remain friends to this day.

After I came out to him it was easier to come out to others I trusted. Next I came out to my best friend and she too accepted me. The next (and most important) person I came out to was my wonderful mother. She accepts me for me and we now share a very open, very honest friendship.

The point of my story is that no matter how bad your situation may seem hang in there and you will find happiness. Patience is a virtue. I do not come out to all that I may meet but to those whom I trust and who make a difference in my life. I really have not experienced any negativity from anyone whom I've come out to. I am not saying tell everyone around you...that is a decision for you to make but I am saying find someone that you can trust to talk to. It really makes a difference.

If you would like to email me for questions, comments or advice feel free. My email address is goldenwingedone@webtv.net.


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