October 1999

I'm a student now at McGill and as an English major, I have all nights and afternoons and mornings and such free to do whatever I so please.

I think of my old principal's wife who herself majored in Anglais at McGill, and what her pastimes involved.

Me, I hit les clubs queer.

But my first night out a Montreal, I got picked up but I couldn't complete the follow through. You know when Mr. Softie gets pervasive the embarrassment on both sides is inevitable. Pervasive. Frankly, the pervert who picked me up insulted me most when he said, 'Oh- so (rhymes with fall, mall and tall).'

Oh! After four years of thinking queer I think I've switched sides. Damn. If it weren't for that quirk I would have gone to another university, sans les bright lights and hot guys of Montreal. Oh well. I'm more attracted, frankly, to the aura of the homosexual, glamorous, on the cutting edge lifestyle than I am to actually being queer. Such, such are the travails of the questioning youth. Oh yes, and did you notice that queer people aren't as attractive as straight ones? Yes, that's sad but true (what type of homosexual quotes Metallica? They are from San Francisco, you know).

Anyway, using public computers gets my paranoia excited. I'm closeted. Or maybe I'm not queer altogether. Goodbye, tight shirts and lisps and rainbows, perhaps forever and ever and evermore! Or maybe one night of the Basketball Diaries will get me turned on once more. Who knows? Who cares?

Thanks mom. I care about you too.


Stephen if from Westmount, Quebec, and can be reached at uglygirl@beautifulboy.com.

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