October 1999

Hello everyone! First off, I'd like to thank everyone who read my last column, and especially those that sent me e-mail! As I said in my last column, I will reply to all of my e-mails. If you did not receive a reply for some odd reason, please re-send your message. Please keep them coming! Any comments, criticisms, questions, etc. are welcomed, appreciated, and as always, read and replied to. I love hearing from people!

My Life- The Saga Continues

Many of you have e-mailed me to say that you feel bad for me and that things will get better. The September column was written at the end of July, and even in that short time, I have made a lot of progress.

First, I'd like to take this opportunity to explain that in my original column, I spoke more about how I felt in the past, than what I was actually feeling at the time. When I wrote it, I was feeling okay about being gay. I was still confused about things, but I assure everyone, I was not as depressed as I may have sounded. That was not my intention, but based on some of the e-mails I received, many people interpreted it this way.

While on vacation and lying awake in bed at 2 a.m., I set myself a goal- to start my coming out process to my family within one year. Now, as much as I'd like to say that I will stick to that, I know myself too well. One year can seem like a very long time, and throughout that one year, many things may change. Only time will tell.

Also during my vacation, my younger cousin (who is 12), expressed his desires to me about the opposite sex. As he doesn't know anything about me being gay, I had to brush them off ever so delicately without him wondering. I used to think it would really bug me when straight people did that, but as it turns out, it didn't really bother me. I knew who I was, who I was going to love, and I was fairly comfortable with it. Although, it may have been rather awkward if he knew, but that won't be for a while.

So, after all has been said and done, I'm starting to feel much better about things.

People Suck

Did anyone watch the 'Throw Away Teens' story on 20/20 on the night of Monday the 13th? I was flipping through the channels when I realized what they were talking about. It was such an excellent story! For those who didn't see it, I'll explain it briefly.

The story was about three teens, two of whom are gay, and 1 is lesbian. All had been thrown out of their homes when their families found out they were gay. One of them was able to find refuge in the LA Gay and Lesbian Center. Before he left, his mother wouldn't let him eat of her dishes because she believed all gay men had AIDS. The other was living in the hills of California in a secret location. He had to do all sorts of horrible things to get money for food, including prostitution. Finally, the girl was thrown out of her house by her mother and brother, but was able to get a place to stay at a homeless youth center. Her relationship with her mother is 'on and off' according to the update. Surprisingly, they interviewed both on camera. They talked shortly and hugged at the end.

Anyhow, I was quite impressed with the way ABC had portrayed the story. They did a good job and had some good experts on talking about the situation. I was really glad to see that this story is being told as it is such an important one.

It's A Large World After All

What happened to Disney's 'It's A Small World After All'? I met this wonderful guy on the Internet. I can't even describe how wonderful he is in words. It all started with such a simple attraction... his name. I sent him an e-mail to tell him. I believe it was pure fate. I was very close to not sending it. We started e-mailing back and forth, and pretty soon we were chatting. He is perfect. I haven't met anyone like him before. He is sweet, kind, smart, cute and he has such a way with words. He makes me feel so good, yet sad because we can't be together. After chatting with him one night, I went to bed with a total realization that I'm gay, and this time, I was really truly happy about it. I knew from the beginning that he lived in California, and even though British Columbia isn't that far away, I feel worlds apart from him. I can't stop thinking about him. He is the last thing I think about before going to sleep, and the first thing I think about when I wake up. I even have wonderful dreams about him. Why does life have to be so cruel? If there is one thing I want more than anything else, it's to be with him.

School Is Back

School started September 7th. My classes worked out okay this year, except for one course, which I'm being forced to take to get the credit. Oh, how I hate fine arts! Overall, I think this year is going to be a memorable one.

Two Gays, No Girls And ICQ

I had an interesting conversation with a new friend I made due to my last column. We were discussing the number of homosexual people there are. Studies have reported that there 10% of the population is either homosexual or bisexual. Personally, I believe that the number is probably a bit higher. My guess would be that 15-20% of the population is homosexual, 5-10% of the population is bisexual, and the rest are heterosexual. Now I'd like to ask everyone who is reading this what they think. Send me an e-mail at wj888@usa.net and tell me what you think the percentages of the population that are hetero-, bi- and homosexual. I'll get the results together and put them in next month's column.

As always, if anyone has any questions, comments, criticisms, points, disagreements, or anything at all you'd like to share with me, please e-mail me at wj888@usa.net.

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