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Jesse

November 1999

"So you Want a Boy who thinks really deep Thoughts..."

Hola, dreamers, Mundanes, and those who haven't decided. Welcome to Jesse's cranky article. I still feel bad about last week's joke of an article, (all these things thrown together with hope that they'd work...it didn't work for Piers Anthony's Faun and Games, but it's brilliance for Steven King)... Today's topic(s?) will be drawn out, so bear with me. ::Growls::

You gotta have...friends...you gotta have friends... (Bette Midler Reference)

How many friends do you have? Close friends, I'm referring to. The type you can whistle, and they'll be there, ready to kill anyone. I have about four. Yes, four. As far as regular friends go, I have more then I can count at the moment, and by the time I do, I'll be writing for next month's Oasis. But the point is that I simply need only a few true friends. Yeah, this very well may be the aftershock affect of just opening my heart to several people and being hurt multiple times, but this isn't just that. It's the fact I've seen so many people with their, "My best friends are blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...blah." And by the time they're done talking about their endless amount of companions, I've already changed my outfit and put my hair in braids and nodded politely and SMILED. How many BEST friends can you have? Best usually does mean a few... ::Sighs:: Okay, pessimistic for a moment. But make sure you watch your back...and make sure that when you have a friend who is needed support i.e. started doing heroin or something like that, that's potentially dangerous, (suicide), be the first person to help them. There is a difference between needed serious attention and just wanting attention. But make sure you are there for someone, because you don't want to lose them. For good.

"This is Halloween! This is Halloween!"

For Halloween...did you know that about 90% of little kids are going to be Pokemon? ::gets a disgusted look and wonders how many Jigglypuffs there will be in comparison to Pikachus:: Maybe I'll be MewTwo and just kick everyone's ass. Mwahaha. Actually, for Halloween, I'm going to be the Mad Hatter. What fun...Did anyone see the Alice in Wonderland special on TV a few months ago? The Special effects were SO awesome, but the plot was butchered. Lewis Carrol must be rolling over in his grave. I'm a HUGE Alice in Wonderland fan... Speaking of Movies...

Jesse's Infamously Huge Favorite Movie List...

1. Sailor Moon S Movie

2. Alice In Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass (Made in the 80's)

3. Sailor Moon R Movie

4. Chorus Line

5. Sailor Moon Super S Musical

6. Rocky Horror Picture Show

7. The Hunchback of Notre Dame

8. Poltergeist

9. The King and I

10. Contact

11. Tenchi Muyo In Love

12. Mr. Holland's Opus

13. Thoroughly Modern Millie

14. Star Wars: Episode One

15. To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar

16. Elvira: Mistress Of the Dark

17. Cabaret The Movie

18. Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealers

19. The Sound of Music

20. A League of Their Own

"When I grow up"

Someone yesterday told me that I was exactly what he wanted to be, clothes, attitude and everything. And was I flattered? Yes. He was a nice boy. He was odd...odd in the sense he was exactly like me. And that makes me jump because I always told myself that if I met someone exactly me, I'd die on the spot. No offense to him of course! When people look at you and say "You're cool", what can you possibly say besides the obvious "Thank you" that makes it sound gratifying, but not stuck up...? And first of all...proud of that status...I've tried my best not to be a rub off of some clown...try and be the original concept, the main dream, not the cheap rip off. But I have my little "Fan club" at lunch...they sit at the next table over and whenever I walk over to say hello to the lower classmen, they all stop eating and stare at me, drinking in every word I say as if it's gin. And they ALWAYS respond with "Oh, that's cool" or some one word answer that drive me WAAAY over the edge. But they mostly like me because of the way I dress. And that's not the point. I don't want to be remembered for the way I dress. Call me shallow (which THAT issue I'll address later), but I would rather be labeled "Intellectly goth" or "Deep dreamer" or something that adheres to my abilities rather then my extensive wardrobe. ::anime sweatdrop:: Isn't that what we all want? Just to be remembered by people as a great person? As a hero, rather then a martyr? A savior rather then a villain? I got called shallow the other day....so I'm a little irritated at that word. Shallow. Shallow Shallow shallow...

"I go through all this before you wake up so I can feel happier to be safe up here with you..."

I work...and I go to school...and I study...and I take lessons...vocal...acting...dancing...saxaphone....and then I have band competitions when I should be resting more then any other thing.... since I get no sleep at all anyway...does it matter if I sleep? And so...I treated myself. About a week ago...when I was stressed... When I opened my eyes, I found myself staring a layers and layers of outstretched trees with leaves' hues that were pierced by a crystal blue. I was laying in the middle of my back yard...it's half an acre and it's really nice... The thick grass beneath me was so soft as I just relaxed...and I just rested as the world carried on...the day was somewhat windy...and yet it was so dead...it was a picture of serenity, and I was enveloped in it. And after half an hour of that. I learned something. That EVERYONE should do that. Just doing something like that, once a week, let it be doing that, or taking an epson salt bath, or getting a massage, or going to a yoga class...it's something that's needed because oftentimes, especially in people working their posteriers off for college and in college, they work themselves to death. And you need to know your limit. You need to have the mindset where you can say, "All right, I've had enough, I need to take a break." Now I have most disastrous schedule you could ever imagine...but just one half an hour can make a difference. I can guarantee it. So go lie down outside and relax. Even better if you have a hammock.

"Does Bisexuality Exist?"

Well...this question had been pondered in several health classes over the eons...and I am damn tired of people telling me that it doesn't. It may be a real thing, or it just may be the person living in denial of their sexuality. For me, it's just the idea of "Having your cake and eating it." Personally, I'm greedy. I have to have all or none at all. I like "and" but to hell with "or." The object of your affection, male or female...you love them for their mind, right? (I hope) ,and if you love a person, regardless of their gender, you will one day show your love for them, if you are committed deeply enough to do something, (You know what I mean), and therefore, in my opinion, that's where people are wrong. I think people are just naturally capable of loving anyone anyhow, although people are born gay or straight, with preferred genders, and grow to be a lot more attached to one then another through their genes, a person can love anyone, even if they're not bisexual. In the school cafeteria the other day I heard someone say that if I guy screws another guy, he's automatically gay. Choking on my Caesar salad I was eating with my silver chopsticks, I turned around and asked him that if a guy did it for money, does it make a difference? "No," he said. "It doesn't." I was irritated at the stupidity of the jock, and I turned around and finished my lunch. The point is, people are so damned straight minded to be stuck in this rut of a mindset that loving people of two genders is taboo, and non-existence...either one or the other...But it's BS! The hell with all of that! "....." Okay, done bitching. Hurrumph. What's your Opinion on this? Remember, I LOVE E-mail.

Go do me a favor, People and listen to Raspberry Swirl from my web site, One of my favorite songs by Tori Amos. Next week it will be Bachlorette by Bjork. You have to have realplayer to hear it, though...And No, the website itself is not up and working. I took it down to add some homemade java in their.

http://server18.hypermart.net/lagoon/Rasp.ram "When all the bois can't be men..."

Beauregards,

Jesse

You can Complain, Criticize, Condemn, Comment or Console me at Magikleft@hotmail.com or you can IM me at Sn: Magickleft or Magikleft. Notice a trend? >^.^< (For those of you that may have E-mailed me and didn't get a response...try again. My E-mail was acting up...it should be working now...)

Meow.


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