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Joe P.

November 1999

I know it's been a while since I last wrote.. Heck, it's almost been a year. But I've been busy lately (excuses, excuses) *sheepish grin*.. Not to mention many things have changed... The people around me, my friends, my life.

Anyway, just a bit about myself that I need to update. I've transferred to a college in Japan, so I no longer live on Guam. And I'm no longer a teenager.. I'm 20 now (boy, do I feel so old). Besides that, I'm still the same 'me' since I last wrote. (Just read my article in this year's January issue, for those who don't who the heck this guy is, or if you've forgotten who I am)

My life in Japan...

Well this was not much of a culture shock for me, since I've traveled to Japan several times, and not to mention that my parents were born and raised in Japan before they came to Guam.. So I'm pretty much familiar with the culture, language, food, and so on. The only thing that was hard for me to adjust to is living on my own. Doing my own laundry, cooking my own food, paying the bills, and well you get the picture. This has helped me realize how important my family was, and the small things I've took for granted.

Since I've lived in a tropical island all my life, the weather here in Japan really freaked me out. I mean it's summer all year long on Guam. And the thing is, this was only the spring season I was experiencing here in Japan (coming here on April).. Just imagine winter!! When I come to Japan, it's always during summer break.. so there is no really big change in the weather. Your just talking to a guy who has clothes for only one season (unfortunately the for the hottest season), and who has never used a heater in all his life.. Oh well.. I guess I would adapt..

It was easy to make friends here in Japan. I stay at a dorm made for foreign students.. So everyone spoke one common language.. English. And of course I made it a point to let them know I'm gay when we've first met, so I don't end up having a close friend who turns out to be some bigot. And also, I wouldn't want to have girls falling for me (which has happened in the past a couple of times). Why do I always seem to attract the opposite sex?? I just wish it were the same with the same sex *wicked grin*

The common response I'd usually get when I told someone that I'm gay is, "You don't act gay" or "You don't look gay"... I mean, how many gay guys or lesbian girls do you actually know before you've met me?? And do these people actually mean, when one does not look 'gay'?? I just end up going into some long lecture, trying to explain to them that the only 'gay' image that they ever came across was the stereotypical one.. I just have trouble convincing one guy (who's name also happens to be 'joe'), who knows I have this thing for guys, but he believes that I could still change. He is the really really religiously devoted type, so go figure. And of course you have those people who just won't believe you until I actually find 'me'self a boyfriend and kissing him in front of them.. Why go through all the trouble of saying you're gay, just to have girls stay away from you??

I guess one of the advantages that I've gained since I've come out, is that you would eventually come to a point where you don't really care what other people think or say about you. Let them believe what they want to believe, as long as it makes them happy, and they don't bother you about it (meaning it doesn't come to a point when things get violent, fists flying, and stuff). Just live and let live. So what if they go about and tell other people about some false rumours about you. These things happen. For me, if I believe I'm right, that's good enough for me. People come and go.. Friends come and go... I've struggled on my own and I've made it. At least I'm way past the point of wanting to kill myself. I know it's what most gay teenagers think about.. And sadly it ends up being the only solution before they can find another option in their lives.. I know most of us just want to see how people would react to their death.. Not actually wanting to die in the process. The conclusion that I've arrived at (with the help of one of my gay friend) is just the thought of being able to find that special someone out there. Not able to love, to hold, to hug, to kiss again, once your dead. And I still believe that I will find someone special soon. I guess I'm just some hopeless romantic..

Okay. So my grammar/English is just terrible for being a college student. I know there's high school students, heck, even middle school students who write better than me (Heh. Mostly those columnist who write for Oasis). I'm just surrounded with Japanese stuff 24 hours a day (work, school, tv, books, etc), and so your language tends to.. well mix and blend.. as well as fade away when it's not used at all..

Anyway mail your comments, thoughts, complaints to me... Laters for now. . 'Til next time. Love and peace to ya all,

Joe P.
jcp14@hotmail.com


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