November 1999

The month of November has returned. Among it Autumn, one of the most beautiful seasons, cooler weather, and my long-awaited 15th birthday. I even get it off from school. Explanation: I was born on Veteran's Day. Though not one that we might celebrate it's my day to enjoy. Can't wait to get my permit; License will be better though.

Being a pessimist, it's somewhat confusing why I might be so excited in another year of my death. But there are some things I'm apparently not supposed to know. Something even more confusing is this:

More Questions, No Answers

As I've said, I really like to look at myself and decide who I am for the moment and for the future. Now, while I'm interested in my own sex and do not look down upon it, but rather enjoy it, I always see myself as gay....at this point in time. But when I look ahead to my future I like to see myself with a wife and children. I've tried to consider it from all view points, and as far as I can tell, I'm setting myself up to be bisexual. Currently, I have a good majority of female friends, which I'm sure you shouldn't find too uncommon. But some of the young women I meet, I feel a strong emotional connection with, and I swear I would hurt anyone that dared to hurt them.

Now, I've also had girlfriends in the past, but it wasn't anything remotely sexual. In fact, they were very appreciative that I didn't want to speed up the sex drive with them. All those relationships, I've been the one that was dumped which is mainly because I hate the feeling that someone I care for is mad at me; which is also a little strange because I am somewhat uncharitable. So, am I slowly discovering that I am in fact bisexual? Or am I for some reason going through a stage in my life (I don't believe this at all but I feel it necessary for whatever reason to bring it up). I know I want a wife, I know I want children, I know I wouldn't be satisfied if I didn't have either. I said earlier that I looked at this from all angles, well , that's why I'm asking you. I have no more answers to my own questions.

If there's ever a moment when you want to get in contact with me, please do. This Internet life is my life, which may or may not be healthy.

Later my friends,



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