November 1999

Hello everyone! Wow! A whole month has gone by already? My life has gone pretty well for the most part, with a few minor bumps that I'm going to have to get used to dealing with (more about this later).

Coming Out

That's right. I came out to a whole _three_ people in the last month. The first two are good Internet friends that I've known for years. There isn't really too much I can say about it, other than it went much better than I ever expected.

I was really happy for about a week after. The third person I came out to was a friend of mine that I know through a real life friend. I've never met her in real life, even though she only lives 10-15 minutes away. She came online and asked me how I was doing. I told her that I was feeling "REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY well". As soon as I said that, she kept bugging me to tell her and wanting questions answered. I was feeling great at the time because it was only a couple days after I came out to my other two friends. Anyhow, over an hour went by, and I had practically spelled it out to her. Thinking back, I was being very stupid. There's no way I'm ever going to do that again. Luckily though, she was really good about it, and I also found out she thinks she's bisexual.

The goal I wrote about last month has been upgraded; I've set a date. I plan to come out to my Mom in May. I'm leaning towards writing her a letter explaining who I've become, why I'm happy about it, etc. If anyone has any experiences, good or bad, that they'd like to share with me regarding coming out to parents through letters, I'd be interested to hear them.

Laziness vs. Stupidity

Our school had our awards night about a week ago (for last year's achievements). After seeing people going up on stage collecting their awards, I realized there are far too many people that have the capability to get those awards that don't. I can think of at least 5 people, just off the top of my head, that have the capability to get them, but apparently, they're too lazy to do the work to get them there. It's not that I feel everyone should be exceeding, but I personally believe everyone should put effort into school. I know too many people who have the ability, but don't put the effort into doing well.

That So-Called "Gay-dar"

Up until about a week or so ago I didn't think I had it. To be honest, I'm still not sure. For all I know, it was probably just a couple of lucky guesses. I suppose I should explain. I was watching TV tonight, and a half-hour show came on that features comedians. Anyway, a woman came on and I was sub-consciously thinking that she was lesbian, but I never really gave it any thought. Halfway through her routine she came out and I realized that that odd feeling I had was accurate. It probably doesn't mean anything though.

Ignorance Sucks

I was eating dinner one night with my Mom at a restaurant. We were talking about a fine arts class in my school that only 3 males took that my counselor was trying to talk me into taking. My Mom passed a remark that they either "wanted to be with the girls, were 'artsy-fartsy', or they're gay." I was stunned. I really didn't know what to say. I just sat there and looked at her for a bit. I was about to attempt to cough up a decent reply when she followed her remark by stating, "gay guys love jewelry." Again, I was stunned. To hear that come from my own mother, the one who only 20 minutes earlier was complaining about a woman she doesn't like because she is anti-gay and racist. I wouldn't expect a comment anything like that to come from her. I thought it was horribly ignorant, and that confident tone she had when she said it was even worse. What I really wanted to say was, "Well, I'm sorry Mom, but I _DON'T_ like jewelry making, so not _ALL_ gay guys love it." I would have followed it up with a nice lecture about her ignorance and inaccurate gay stereotypes. I will eventually.

I realize that many people have to face much greater ignorance than this. I honestly don't know how you deal with it. Those that do, and survive, I applaud you; you are stronger than I am.

The Age Of Enlightenment vs. The Information Age

A friend of mine and I were talking one night about straight people who aren't ignorant about homosexuality. We came up with calling those people enlightened. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, an enlightened person is one whom is "freed from ignorance and misinformation". Based on this, I would add that an enlightened person is a heterosexual person whom does not worry about falling into homosexual stereotypes. That is, a straight person that doesn't fear people thinking he/she is gay because of certain attributes.

What I find ironic is that we're supposedly living in the Information Age, yet very few people make the effort to understand one another unless they have to. What kind of Information Age is this?

This goes into many other areas, far beyond homosexuality. Generally, people don't care about things unless it affects them directly. Even if it does, far too many people don't know that it does. I suppose I should add that no one is perfect. No one truly understands the affects that everything has on everything else. Certain things, however, should not be forgiven. It really bugs me when people don't recycle paper, aluminum cans and such. What gets me more -- when people litter. These people don't realize it DOES affect them. If someone litters, either it stays there and we live in a world full of filth, or someone is paid to pick it up. Where does the money to pay that person come from? Us; as either taxpayers or consumers. The first causes social services to be cut, or taxes to increase; the latter causes retail prices to increase. If only people took the time to realize this.

As always, any questions, comments, criticisms, etc., can be sent to wj888@usa.net. I love hearing from readers, so please don't hesitate!

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