By Sandra, Xanii@aol.com

Excerpt from the unfinished novel, Leaving September, continued from last month

M'Taii wrapped one arm around Sam's shoulder and propped her leg up as Sam nestled on her chest. She felt Sam's steady heartbeat grow to a slow. She felt an odd quiet overcome the room.

"Is everything alright?"

Sam hesitated then spoke." When was the first time you knew?"

M'Taii pushed the back of her head further into the pillow.

"Knew? Hmm... After I had my daughter I was certain." Sam listened as she heard M'Taii's muffled voice through her chest.

"As for suspecting or knowing, it was when I was in boarding school at the request of my mother and her then wealthy husband of choice. I would get this sick feeling in my stomach when it was time for confession. I knew I couldn't tell Father O'Shay, of my sin of wanting to know exactly what was under, the young Sister Alice Marie's habit. So I went to confide in her myself and walked in on her changing. I think that was when I had my first orgasm, at twelve."

M'Taii smirked.

"What did she do?"

"What could she do? She let me have her."

Sam turned her head abruptly and stared at M'Taii.


"I'm teasing, she threw her hands over her and shooed me away. She couldn't quite look at me the rest of the year. So when summer recess rolled around, they asked my mother to re enroll me at the sister school in the neighboring county."

Sam softened her eyes.

"Was that when you had your first time?"

"No, my first time was when I was seventeen. I was working at the library, shelving. And this butch, Rita, asked where to find the human sexuality section, so I pointed them out. She came back a few days later and handed me one of the books she had taken out. A folded pink sheet of paper was stuck on top, through the pages. So I opened it and read the section on homosexual behavior. Hmmm, good old Rita."

M'Taii smiled wide, forgetting for a moment that Sam was looking at her.

"Good old Rita? Sounds like you were taken right in the library."

"No, not quite. See, when I was done that evening, she was waiting down the way for me. Standing outside her green beat up car, with the one red door. I walked for a while and she drove next to me, I asked if she was crazy cause she was driving against traffic and she told me, 'So don't kill me, get in.' And I did. I made curfew that night and every other night we met. First time in months. My mother was suspicious. So when she went snooping through my things and found the gay rally flyer amongst my books and Rita's number scrawled on the back, she confronted me. My confession was my silence, so she threw me out.

"She let me back, four months later, thinking I had learned my"lesson", but what I had learned was how to wisen up. I played her games enough to make it through three years of college. Then I met Roseau and moved out permanently. I finished school, got pregnant, lost Blanca, fooled around for four years, then met Dora. Now I'm laying here talking to you. End of story."

"You've always seemed to have a hard life."

"I don't think I would know how to live it any other way."


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