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Nick

December 1999

Well, first of all, I want to say happy holidays to every one! And I guess it's only a matter of days hours seconds minutes what ever it is until new years when we have some good proof that the bible is wrong! Not only is it wrong that gays are bad awful despicable (ha fools) things but also the prediction of the end of the world too!! and who knows what the new millennium may bring! I know I have a few wishes!

Well let's see where to start were to start? (yes, I am hyper today!) oh, I guess I'll start with this humorous little statistic in an old time mag, it says that only one percent of society is gay! Allow me a sec to laugh...ha ha ha hehe ha ... yeah and I am the prince of France, and the only gay in my grade, too, I guess! ...ha ha...but the funny thing is that this statistic was taken mostly with married men and it counts being gay as how many open relationships you've had with men in the last 2 months! well no duh! its like me going to a gay bar in good ol San Francisco to take a survey on who is str8, and of course it would be very few str8's or heteros , breeders ( tee he he it feels good to have lil terms for them as they do for us) No I am not drunk! ( I wish I were though) I am just in a very good mood! and I am sooooo sick of gay jokes and gay bashing on TV! It's ok to make fun of us but not the other minorities, and gay rights too, it's illegal to be gay in many places and gay marriage is an unexciting thing! It's all bull shit (excuse my French, actually it's not French, it's slang but oh well) and the word fag, don't get me started on my hatred for that and other homophobic subjects! people are so blind!

A STEPPING STONE IN MY GAY LIFE

OK, now on serious maters... I finally found another gay person! wow ! He slept over and we talked and talked and talked (dirty too) but it was kinda romantic, ( kinda) and then I learned a little too much about his past and even present. Well incase you don't already know I am a true romantic. Yes, you heard it, a gay romantic, ( and according to your emails I'm not the only one! it's ok too! You can expect more than sex, I think) I want a loving relationship and awhile after if the relationship is good I want a loving relationship and possibly sex too.

But anyway, back to what I was saying. He has had sex, so I am not sure if it would be risky or not and also I think he only wants sex. I feel like he wants my mouth, dick, hand and ass (if you know what I mean, and I know you do!) Well, anyway I am not like that, I am not a whore. Not that he is, actually he is really cute and has a really cool personality. But I just think I'd be over compromising and giving up too much for what will end up just hurting me, I want a man who wants to kiss and can settle for kissing, hugging, laying together not someone who can't kiss with out getting more than that. So I am back to waiting and waiting and waiting. what a disappointment! But he did help me realize how afraid of my self and my body I am and he tried to comfort me (thank you in case you are reading this) and I know that many other people think they are ugly and not good enough, not ready, too fat, short, tall, thin, weak, etc. especially the whole cock size thing, a lot of people are ashamed of that, but don't be. If they love you, they will love you unconditionally. Don't worry about not being good enough because if they say their too good for you , then they are the ones who are wrong. I know I am the last person who should say this because I am sure I am probably more uncomfortable with myself than may of you, but I just want you all to know, you are good enough and don't believe otherwise!

Well I guess I'll stop rambling on now but take care good luck happy holidays and I hope the millennium brings you all you've hoped for.

Nick
hedgiespikes@yahoo.com


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