December 1999


I have to start this month's column off with an apology. I have not had the time this month to sit down and think of a good topic for this article. I have been very busy, and I have not had any good ideas. But I would also like to thank all the people who have been writing me. I really like getting e-mail from you all.

Last Month

Last month's article was on Fear and not letting it govern your life. Well, I guess I need to reread that one. I just started a new job in a homophobic career and boy have I been letting fear govern me there.

I am having second thoughts on this job and am really not sure how it is going to work out in the long run. It is a job I have wanted and worked for a very long time. Now, however, I feel like I may be making a mistake. In the last year I have finally started to truly come to accept the fact I was gay. I finally started to have a somewhat positive outlook on the subject. Now I feel I have taken a giant leap back. It is like there are two things right now that are very important to me. The first is my sexuality, and the second, my career. Now I can't really reveal what the job I have is for fear of being discovered, but I can tell you it is a very honorable job, but is generally very homophobic.

By the time you read this I will have been at my new job for almost a month. Maybe by then I will have a better outlook on things. I am trying to get another job; it is in the same career, but at a different place. The new place is much larger. Maybe that will be better, maybe I will get lost in the numbers.

Well, if anyone out there has any advice for me, I would love to hear it. Or if anyone would like my help, let me know, I will do what I can. You can e-mail me at tyler4us@hotmail.com

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