Jon's monthly column

Hello Readers, I want to thank all who wrote me an email. I appreciate it a lot.

First, before I go on to this month's article, I want to warn you all that this is coming from the heart and probably sentimental.

I recently had a couple of bad breaks in the world of relationships and it hurt to tell you the truth. First off, I am only using first names to protect the parties. The first relationship was with Alex and we had a short relationship. It was great while it lasted, we talked and hugged and kissed. I was really falling for him and I think I was really making progress in regards to opening up to someone and sharing my life with him. After this one date, we had we spent some time together and had a good time. I guess after we spent some time together I kind of sensed he was acting strange well he was. I did not hear from him a few days then I got an email and he said "We need to talk." Well, warning flags go off he is going to dump me. Sure enough, he said he thought I needed a friend more than a lover. Needless to say, I was devastated. I lost my self confidence, etc. Well after thinking it all over, he was right. He was not my type and it would not have worked out.

Readers, I was really trying to make it work. I feel I was making strides to make it work. I don't want to bore you with details, but I did get over him. My second if you want to call it a relationship in the making we will call it. I was going to meet him at a local establishment and have coffee with him. We were suppose to meet at 5:00 to 5:15PM. I get there and I wait and I wait and I wait, I have to admit I did after about oh between 5:30 and 5:45PM to another store to look at some items at the store. To make that story short, he did not show up, I see him online on AOL instant messenger and he apologizes for missing me. I should say we sent each other pictures so that we would know what we look like I did not think I saw him but he claims he was there. Well, we set up another time. I call him on Sunday at a specific time I call and leave a message on his machine, then after a while call back and leave my cellular phone number to him also so he can reach me then. Again, I see him online and he apologizes he had trouble with his ex and he was really emotional, etc. I thought to myself ok I can understand that, so I call him the next day to see how he is doing and to say hi. Mike then says Jon I have a friend over will you be online later tonight we can talk then I said yes and I hung up. Needless to say I felt like JERK OF THE YEAR. Here, I went calling up to see how he was and he had a friend over with him.

After this all happened I was going to write an article about it and rant and rave over whoa's me, look what happened, I am going to give up and not try anymore. To be honest, I can not give up and I have to try again. I also have to say I have a habit of being sensitive almost too sensitive and I think I am a caring individual. Also I have to say sometimes my timing can be bad on things or maybe better put I might try to hard or I get too down on my self, I am too serious at times. I would love to find someone that could help me with those things to help me to be fun and not take things so seriously. I love to laugh and I don't think I laugh enough. I found after those two very short oh how shall I put it, umm … stints or friendships I want to touch and hold and cuddle with a guy. I think what I am trying to bring out here readers is you have to try to be in a relationship and don't be afraid to be sensitive perhaps I just have not found the right guy but I do hope maybe one of you that is reading this will learn and I have made an impact on some of you to be caring and compassionate with someone. I do hope I find this right guy and we can be together and hold and cuddle I also hope anyone of you guys and girls find that right Mr. or Ms Right for you and that you will be happy. Well if you made it this far I hope you liked this month's article I wanted to share what happened to me.

Take care and be safe please write me and tell me what you think. I have ICQ (769797) and AOL Instant Messenger JPJ82 Email me at jon99@beautifulboy.com or jjia@geocities.com

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